


Just Like You

by ieatboyss



Category: Girls (TV)
Genre: Adam is a freak but you should know this, Alternate Canon, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Canon Universe, Eventual Smut, F/M, Follows the Girls overall storyline but adds a character worthy of Sackler, Happy Ending, I suck at tags, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Medical Conditions, Mental Health Issues, Sackler deserved better, Slow Burn, So it's not just gonna be Sackler calling you a whore sorry, There will be smut but I'm trying to make this an actual story, if you've watched girls you should know what to expect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:34:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 38,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23151031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ieatboyss/pseuds/ieatboyss
Summary: After a death in the family, Lucy decides to move to New York and help her cousin while he's in rehab. She happens to cross paths with Adam Sackler when she hides him from the police after he has a heated argument with his now ex-girlfriend Hannah.Without realizing it, Adam integrates himself into Lucy's life until she has no choice but to admit her feelings for him.*Adam Sackler deserved a better ending in Girls. All of the characters in that show were awful. So here we are.*
Relationships: Adam Sackler/Original Character(s), Adam Sackler/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 91
Kudos: 90





	1. Family Isn't Everything

**Author's Note:**

> Sackler deserved better and all the girls were bitches so this is my way of (hopefully) ending his story better than it did in the show.
> 
> This story will have mentions of abuse as well as mental health issues. If any of those things make you uncomfortable you may not like this story.
> 
> The Spotify playlist I've added is of songs that inspired me/pumped me up while writing this story. Give it a gander.

* * *

  
  
  


* * *

* * *

When Lucy was growing up she had always wanted to travel the world. New York was on her list of places to see just like every other sixteen year old that was born and raised in the same town. Born and raised in Arizona, she had only left the state a couple of times while growing up and it was usually because her Grandma was dragging her to the funeral of some distant cousin she had met once and didn’t know. She always pictured after graduating high school she’d spend some time traveling abroad with her close friends before coming home and going to college. How often do things work out like we imagined they would though?

She always had a very ‘out of sight out of mind’ view when it comes to things like fate, destiny, and religion. However, looking back, she can’t help but wonder if the opportunity that fell into her lap was some sort of weird twist of fate. Everything that happened was too convenient and the timing was too perfect. There was no way for her to know the course of her life would change forever simply because she refused to turn her back on a family member. One of the only family members she actually considered family.

* * *

Lucy had never been close with her mother growing up and her father was never in the picture. She only knew his name and that he refused to acknowledge her as his own. Needless to say her childhood was nowhere near perfect. Her mother Laura, liked to brag about being a hardworking single mother but that was far from the truth. The older Lucy got the more distance she put between her and her mother. 

Her mom had a knack for choosing men over her most of her life, whether she realized it or not, which only made Lucy resent her more. For example, when Lucy was fifteen Laura decided she didn’t want to work anymore. Instead of working to support her only daughter, she left Lucy with her grandma, quit her job, and did god knows what for money. Now as an adult, Laura did her best to try and get into Lucy’s good graces. She was doing her best to be the mom Lucy needed her to be when she was younger. She doesn’t need a relationship with her mother now, nor did she want one. She did her best to hide her irritation around her mom for her grandma’s sake alone, but she rarely succeeded.

  
  


* * *

“Baby this is the guy I’m seeing, his name is Rick. I want you to meet him soon,” Laura said with a smile as she turned her laptop towards Lucy. The man’s Facebook page was nothing special and looked like every other unemployed middle aged white man’s profile page, complete with Walmart memes and Confederate Flags. Not to mention all the “Repost this within the next 5 minutes or you’ll have bad luck” bullshit. 

His profile picture was of a “Freedom isn’t Free” meme instead of a photo of himself which indicated to her that the dude was probably not easy on the eyes. Lucy’s suspicions were confirmed when she browsed through his pictures until she finally found one of him. It looked like he had taken it with the kind of flip phone she had when she was younger. Ya know the kind that had a black and white screen and the snake game? It was blurry and hard to make out. She found his tagged photo’s folder and finally found a picture of him. Dude was overweight, had graying hair cut military style, and a lazy eye. 

Laura always had the worst taste in men, the sexual abuse and one instance of physical abuse Lucy suffered when she was younger could attest to that. As a kid she always hoped one of the many men her mom brought home would think of her as his daughter, so she could finally know what it’s like to have a dad. Needless to say that never happened. Now in her early 20’s, she had no interest in getting to know any man in her mother’s life, no matter how much she tried to hype him up. The guy could be Bruce Wayne and Lucy still wouldn’t give a shit. She was unimpressed with the man and his Facebook page and her facial expression made that obvious. Her mom was grasping at straws hoping to hype up this man enough for her daughter to show interest in her new relationship. 

“He has a full sleeve too!” her mom added, as if that would suddenly change her mind.

Lucy had an assortment of tattoos but that didn’t mean she instantly wanted to befriend someone just because they also were slightly masochistic and obsessive when it comes their interests.

“Cool. What kind of tattoos does he have? Let me guess, tribal? No wait. . the American flag and a bald eagle dressed as Uncle Sam?” she said un-amused.

“Ha ha funny. It’s actually clowns,” her mom said with a smile. Lucy, who had been leaning over her mom and scrolling through the man’s Facebook page stopped scrolling and slowly stood up straight.

“Clowns?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah!” her mom said.

“That’s cool. You know John Wayne Gacy had an obsession with clowns. Back then tattoos weren’t as popular but I bet if they were he’d wanna be BFF’s with your new boyfriend. Actually. . this Rick dude kinda reminds me of Gacy now the more I look at him. Bigger middle aged white man obsessed with clowns,” Lucy couldn’t help but chuckle when she saw the frown on her moms face. 

Lucy turned her back to her mom and grabbed her house key, preparing to leave the house until her mom inevitably asked her grandma for money and left for a few weeks. Before she walked out of the room to tell her grandma she was leaving, she glanced over her shoulder and spoke to her mom one last time.

“Gacy had a thing for young boys. You might wanna watch out for that,” she smirked before exiting the living room.

* * *

Disliking her mom wasn’t as bad as it sounds because she had her grandma. Her grandma Alice was more of a mother to her growing up which made her relationship with her the most important one in her life. She lived with her grandparents her entire life, her mother coming in and out as she pleased. Until her grandpa died, her grandparents were the only two constants in her life.

When her grandma got sick, realistically she knew it was all downhill after that, she wouldn’t be the woman that raised her ever again. It was like she had purposely waited to get sick until Lucy graduated high school and was sure she’d be okay on her own. The day she found her grandma on the floor unconscious in the kitchen was the day she knew things would never be the same between them.

After running a bunch of tests and scans, the doctors discovered Alice had a brain bleed as well as older untreated issues in the same area. With every passing day her grandmother became a little less herself. Lucy tried not to distance herself from the only mother figure she had in her life but it was hard to stay close when her grandma would look her in the eye and ask Lucy “Where’s Lucy?”

There was no way to cure the dementia or the other issues related to her brain injury, according to the numerous neurologists she spoke with. It was basically you ride it out and watch her get worse before it ends. As she watched the woman she considered her mother slowly deteriorate, she replayed a conversation she had with her shortly after her grandpa had died. 

* * *

“If I ever get like your grandfather I want you to cover my face with a pillow and put me out of my misery,” she said, completely serious. 

“Gram!”

“And when I die I don’t want a funeral. Throw my body in the trash and be done with it. I don’t want a bunch of people standing around and staring at me. And I don’t want a bunch of people pretending like they knew me so well. I don’t like a majority of our family. Fuck em’. My funeral would be more for their sake than for me.”

* * *

As expected, a week before her grandma passed away was when the vultures started circling. After not speaking with her mother for months, she suddenly appeared at the hospital. Even though she had grown up fairly middle class, her grandparents were extremely well off. You would never know it by their lifestyle alone. Lucy had known her grandmother had some money saved away somewhere no one knew about. If she had a will Lucy hadn’t known about it. She hadn’t even told her she had made Lucy her power of attorney until the doctor approached her and asked her if her if she would like to take her off of life support once her grandma had slipped into a coma. She knew her mother well enough to know she would make her grand entrance towards the end, not because she cared but because of the money she hoped to inherit.

What Lucy hadn’t known was just how much her grandmother had. The sneaky old woman had close to a million dollars tucked away and left it for Lucy, and Lucy alone. After her will was read her mother conveniently wanted to be more involved in her life and wouldn’t leave her the hell alone. Lucy finally decided she needed to leave but she had no idea where to go or where to start. She wanted to sell her grandmother's house once she finally found somewhere to go but felt a little bit bad for her mother and decided to leave that to her at least. 

The calls came in nonstop following the will reading. Cousin’s she didn’t even know existed were coming out of the woodwork. All of them suddenly wanted to be her best friend. Inviting her out and dropping by at every hour to ‘see how she was doing’. The only cousin she actually wanted to speak to didn’t contact her until a week later.

* * *

“Laird? Are you okay? Isn’t it balls early in New York right now?”

“Hey Lulu. Yeah it’s 3 am here. I heard about Gram’s. Are _you_ okay? I know the answer but I still wanna ask,” he asked quietly.

She could tell something was off the moment he spoke. He was her favorite cousin, the closest thing she had ever had to a brother. She hadn’t seen him in years since he lived on the other side of the country but they still spoke regularly. She hadn’t spoken to him in months though and she had a feeling she knew why.

“I’m fine Laird. Are you. . did you. .” He knew what she was asking before she asked. He started to cry which only confirmed her suspicions.

“You were doing so well. What happened?”

The last time she had seen him was when her grandma had paid for him to come to Arizona. They had checked him into a very prestigious rehab facility not too far from their house. After he finished his treatment she reluctantly sent him home after he refused to stay with them. Her grandma always had a soft spot for him.

“I don’t know. . I just . .” he said in between sobs.

“It’s okay. . . we’ll figure something out. Where are you now?”

“I just got home,” he said as he slowly began to calm down. “I feel bad for even asking considering. . everything . . but would you want to come stay with me for a bit? Don’t feel like you have to. I just know how our family can be and I figured you’d want to get away for a bit. It would be good to see you too. It’s been way too long.” Lucy stayed quiet for a bit longer than she should have. She only realized it once Laird began to backtrack out of fear he had given off the same impression the rest of their family had.

“I think that’s a good idea actually. I need to get the fuck away from everyone here. I was thinking about leaving anyways. I just hadn’t thought of anywhere to go. Not to sound like an asshole but I totally forgot you lived in New York,” she chuckled. Wiping the sleep from her eyes she grabbed her laptop and began looking for a flight from Phoenix to New York as soon as possible.

“Really? That. . that’s great!”

“On one condition,” Lucy added.

“Sure! Anything!”

“When I get there, after I find a place to stay and stuff, you go back to rehab and you stay there until you complete whatever program I put you in.” When he was silent for a beat to long she paused her flight search. 

“AND. . you go to AA or NA meetings for a couple of weeks before I leave. I'll go with you if you want me to. You’ll probably be sick of me by then but those are my conditions. Take em’ or leave em’.”

“Okay deal. But only if you stay at my place while I’m gone. You don’t need to get a place here when you’re only visiting for a while.” 

If it was any other family member she would be worried he was only wanting her around to try and crack into her inheritance. No one knew just how much money her grandma left her, only that she was left some when no one else got anything. There was no way he could have found out about the money and even if he did, she knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t want anything from her.

“Am I allowed to bleach the entire place and can I bring Jax?”

“Yes and yes,” he laughed. She couldn’t contain the squeal of excitement that escaped her lips which only made him laugh more.

“How soon can you get here?”

“I’m looking at flights now. I would just need to pack. I let my mom have the house and put anything valuable of Gram’s in a storage unit no one knows about. There’s a few things I’ve gotta box up but I can have Zoe take the boxes to her place until I get back and figure out what I’m doing and where I’m going to live. So. . I can probably be there in like two days.”

“That’s . . that’s amazing. Wow! I’m. . I’m so excited to see you Lulu,” he said. She could tell he was about to cry again. Growing up he was extremely sensitive and it only got worse as he got older. Hallmark commercials made him cry. Disney movies nearly destroyed him.

“I’m booking my flight now. I know it’s a hard thing to ask but can you please please promise. . try to stay sober until I get there? I don’t want you to be high when I see you for the first time in years.”

“I. . I promise,” he said confidently.

“Good. I’ll see you soon bro.”

“Bye Lucy.”

* * *

Lucy didn’t bother telling her mom bye and definitely didn’t tell her where she was going. She even considered changing her phone number just to avoid her and the rest of her family. She wanted to distance herself as much as possible. As always, her friend Zoe was supportive and reliable when she told her she was leaving. She showed up the next morning to pick up Lucy’s boxed belongings and dropped her off at the airport while doing her best to hide how sad she was.

“Don’t do it. Don’t you fucking cry on me. I’ll be back eventually. Laird needs me and I’m going to fucking take a bath with a toaster if I don’t get away from my family.” Lucy glanced over at the terminal. They would be letting her onto the plane at any moment.

“I know I know. I’m just. . I know you haven’t had an episode in a while and I know you have Jax, but you’re really bad at remembering to take your meds and with following up with your doctors. Without me or your Gram’s to bug the shit out of you about it I-” She paused and leaned down to pet Lucy’s service dog. He was extremely large and resembled a wolf more than a German Shepard. “He’s such a good boy and will take care of his momma. But I still worry. If Laird is gone. . who will . . if something happens,” she swallowed thickly.

“I have all my meds, I’ve already found a doctor in the city, and I transferred all my medical records and everything. I’ll check in with him once I’ve got Laird settled. I promise.” Zoe narrowed her eyes at Lucy. She knew her well enough to know she would keep up with her meds and doctor for about a week before she began to forget or brush it aside and only address it once she was back in the hospital.

“I made you my emergency contact and Laird has all of your information. I know you won’t be able to do much from here if something happens there but maybe that will shut you up at least,” Lucy smirked at her. 

They announced that her plane was now boarding. She glanced from her terminal to Zoe, her eyes filled with un-shed tears.

“I can’t believe you got first class seats you boujee bitch. It wasn’t enough to get to board early because of your ‘disability’ and Jax. Noooo you had to upgrade your seats too,” Zoe laughed while trying to choke back tears.

“Honestly, the only reason I did it was to avoid as many people as possible. Plus you know I’m terrified of flying. If I could drink I’d be trashed by now. As soon as I sit down Jax is going to throw himself on me anyways. AND I _never_ pull the ‘handicap’ pity card so shut up,” Lucy smiled at her friend. She wasn’t a touchy person at all. She avoided hugs and physical contact at all costs but she couldn’t help but want to hug her best friend goodbye. She threw her arms around Zoe’s neck and hugged her for the first time in over a decade. As expected, Zoe was shocked and froze. Moments later she started sobbing.

“You choose to hug me now you bitch!” she choked out as she sobbed. Lucy began to laugh as she released her friend and wiped a few stray tears. 

“Don’t get used to it. You’re so fucking needy I didn’t want to make it a habit,” she laughed. 

“Shut up and get out of my face,” Zoe said with a smile as Lucy picked up her carry on and turned to walk towards the terminal.

Before she was out of sight, Lucy glanced over her shoulder to look at her best friend one last time. 

“I love you dick face!” Zoe yelled as loud as she could. Everyone within earshot turned to look at her.

“Bye asshole!” Lucy called back before Zoe lost sight of her.

* * *

  
  


New York was a bit overwhelming at first. There were people _everywhere_ and a majority of them were assholes but they mostly stuck to themselves, unlike in Phoenix. Depending on the area, people tend to befriend their neighbors and strike up random conversations much to her dismay. In New York, she’d be lucky if someone even said excuse me before pushing her into the street. Aside from nearly punching some asshole within the first fifteen minutes of getting to Brooklyn, she liked how everyone seemed to keep to themselves.

She had texted Laird when she landed to let him know she would be at his place soon. He said he wasn’t home but should be by the time she got there, to go ahead and let herself in. Neither one of them realized she didn’t have a key until she was standing in front of the entrance to his building. He didn’t respond when she texted him to let him know she had no way in. With a sigh, her and Jax sat on the steps outside of the entrance to his building to wait for him.

“I swear to god Laird if you think this shit's gonna fly when I’m here you’re in for a very fucking rude awakening,” she mumbled to herself. 

Not bothering to look away from her phone, someone exited the building from behind her and descended the steps to the sidewalk but paused and turned to her instead of going about their business. Lucy hoped if she continued to ignore them, they’d leave her alone and not engage her in small talk.

“Are you waiting for someone? Do you need help finding an apartment? I’ve never seen you around here before.”

Lucy looked up at the girl that was obviously not noticing her desire to be left alone.

“Oh uh yeah. . I’ve never been here before. I’m waiting for Laird. He's supposed to be home and isn’t but he’s supposedly on his way.”

“Oh. . I didn’t know Laird had a girlfriend,” the girl said surprised.

“I don’t know if he does. It’s definitely not me if that’s what you’re implying. I’m his cousin. . well. . he’s more like my brother but yeah. We’re family,” Lucy said while she studied the girl.

She was short and didn’t look anything like the skinny uptight women she had seen on her way to Laird’s. The dress she was wearing resembled something her grandma would have worn when she was a kid. She had little to no make up on and was definitely giving off the artsy hippie vibe. So far the girl was nice enough, but she wasn’t really the type of person Lucy would befriend on her own. 

“You must be Lucy right? Laird never talks about family and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone else in his apartment. You’re the only one he’s ever spoken of.”

“Yeah that’s me,” Lucy smiled as genuinely as she could. She had always been told she has a resting bitch face, looked unapproachable, mean, and intimidating when people first met her. Which was fine, it kept people away. Once people got to know her, they figured out that was only partially accurate. When she smiled it rarely reached her eyes, not unless she was genuinely happy about something. But few people knew her well enough to call her out on it.

“Well it’s nice to meet you Lucy. I’m Hannah Horvath. I’m sort of Laird’s upstairs neighbor. He’s a really good friend!” she said with a smile. Lucy couldn’t help but be a little bit irritated with that statement. Even though she knew it was no one’s fault but his own, she couldn’t help but wonder why, if they were friends, she hadn’t done something about Laird and his drug use.

“Oh that’s great. It’s good to know he has friends here. Did you know he’s using again?”

“What? No, I had no idea. Is that why you’re here?” Apparently the conversation with Lucy was more important than whatever Hannah had planned to do because she set her bag down and sat down next to her and Jax. Sending one more text to Laird telling him to hurry his ass home, Lucy set her phone down and continued to converse with Hannah.

“We have some uh. . family stuff going on and I have always wanted to see New York. With Laird needing help, now seemed like as good a time as ever.”

“How long are you planning on staying?”

“Not sure yet but you’ll probably see us around a lot.”

Hannah realized when Lucy said “us” she meant her and Jax. The very large intimidating dog was sitting on the other side of her, completely ignoring everyone and everything going on around him. When she saw Hannah’s attention divert to Jax, she knew what she was going to ask next. 

“Is he a service dog? Is he yours?” Lucy knew what she really wanted to ask was 'Why do you need a service dog? You don’t look like you have a disability.'

“Yeah he’s mine. Thank you for not petting him or acknowledging him for that matter. Unless we’re at home he’s technically always working. You’d be surprised how many people ignore the big bold letters on his vest telling you not to touch him,” Lucy said as she gave Jax a quick scratch behind the ear.

“Yeah. . no problem,” Hannah said with a smile, as if she had ignored him on purpose and not because she didn’t seem like she was too keen on dogs. That was strike one in Lucy's book. Who doesn’t like dogs?

“I was just about to go to my boyfriend's house. He doesn’t live too far from here. I just finished writing a few pieces for my book and I wanted to get his opinion. I’m a writer and-”

Lucy unintentionally zoned out as Hannah continued to talk about herself for what seemed like hours. She tried to pay attention, just in case Hannah spontaneously gave her a pop quiz on her life but she couldn’t. It was immediately obvious how self-centered she was. Everything in her life revolved around Hannah. She was a feminist with extreme views she liked to make clear and she had no problem telling you all about them, even if you didn’t ask. 

Even though she was really friendly and polite, so far, Lucy knew if these types of conversations became a regular thing while staying with Laird, she may have to find her own place. If there was a God he decided to take pity on her because Laird showed up around the time Hannah began to tell her about her childhood.

“Lulu I’m so sorry you had to wait!” Laird said as he set down the numerous bags he was struggling to carry in order to embrace her.

“I swear to the non existent sky wizard I will set you on fire while you sleep if you ever leave me alone with her again,” Lucy whispered into his ear before pulling back and acting overly polite.

“Hi Laird oh my god I missed you so much!” she said in the fakest sappiest voice she could muster.

“Sorry again for making you wait. I didn’t even have toilet paper in the apartment. I didn’t know if you’d want to go to the store the minute you got here so I ran to the store,” he said as he wiped sweat off his brow. Her irritation towards him melted away when she realized he wasn’t high and was winded from trying to get home so quickly.

“Did you. . did you carry all of that from the store? How far is the store from here?”

“Um just a couple of blocks. Not worth paying for a cab when I can manage.”

“Oh yeah you guys take cabs and walk everywhere. Well let’s get inside. It’s hot and Jax is probably melting.” The polite thing for Hannah to do would have been to offer to help them with the shopping bags considering they also had to lug in Lucy’s luggage. That’s not what she did though.

“Well I’m gonna go see my _boyfriend_ , then a dinner thing, and then I’ll be busy trying to become the woman I am. Bye guys!” Hannah said before turning and walking down the street. The way she said ‘boyfriend’ made it evident whoever the poor soul is was a new addition to her life, one that she was extremely happy about having.

Lucy let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding before turning to scowl at Laird. Both of them had their arms full with shopping bags and her luggage.

“She just likes to talk a lot but she’s a good person really. I know she’s not really your cup of tea but I’m sorry again for taking so long,” Laird said as he fumbled with his keys.

“Stop apologizing so much. I can tell you’re not high and the bags are evidence you aren’t lying so relax. I’m not mad. And yes I know Hannah meant well she’s just a lot and all at once.”

Laird opened the apartment door for her before closing it behind them and locking it. The apartment was a lot nicer and cleaner than she expected. He had clearly scrubbed the entire place before she got there. She was definitely going to buy some new furniture and re-decorate before she left though.

“It’s not much but I do have a spare room so you’ll have your own space. There’s only one bathroom though so we’ll have to share. I didn’t buy groceries because I wasn’t sure what you’d want to get so if you’re feeling up to it we can go grocery shopping later. And I-”

“Laird, relax. It’s perfect and I’ll manage. I’m a big girl. I’m just happy I’m here and can help you out. Thank you for even inviting me. You have no idea how good it is to get the hell away from everyone we have the misfortune of calling family,” Lucy said with a genuine smile.

She saw Laird’s chin begin to quiver, a tell tale sign the water works were about to start.

“Oh god. Already!” Lucy chuckled as Laird began to cry. He pulled her into a hug and cried over her shoulder. He was one of the few people she had always been comfortable hugging.

“I’m sorry. I’m just so happy to see you and I’m so glad you’re here!” Laird said as he pulled away and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

He showed her to the room that would be hers and Jax’s for the next few months. She pulled out her phone and made a list of everything she needed to buy to make their stay more comfortable. He walked into her new room as she began to unpack her medication. One of the medications she took regularly was Adderall. While she knew that wasn’t Laird’s drug of choice, part of her worried he may take advantage of the fact that he now had access to a legal supply of the stimulant. 

“I know at Gram’s you liked to keep your pills in the kitchen so you wouldn’t forget to take them. I hung up a small shelf by the coffee machine if you want to keep them there. You drink more coffee than you do water. They’ll be hard to miss there but I totally understand if you’re not comfortable having them out in the open here or having them somewhere I can find them,” he said as if reading her mind.

“I trust you. Plus you’re not even going to be here for a while. Thank you though, for remembering that. It will help a lot,” Lucy said as she grabbed her medications and walked back into the small kitchen.

“About that. . how are you doing with all that? The meds and everything. Last time I spoke with Gram before she,” he paused to clear his throat. “She said you were having trouble remembering to take them and had ended up in the hospital a few times. Is that still going on?” She kept her back to him as she responded. Not wanting to lie to his face, he didn’t need to be worried about her when he should be focused on himself and staying sober. 

“I’ve been doing a lot better. I haven’t had an ‘episode’ in a while and I’m no longer a frequent flyer at the nearby hospital. I just have to leave notes everywhere and set reminders on my phone. Plus I have Jax. He warns me when I’m about to have an episode so I have a bit of a heads up and can sit down or get help if I’m alone.”

“That’s. . that’s good. I . . I know what you’re going to say but I feel bad leaving you alone when you have your own issues,” Laird said quietly.

“You’re right. You do know what I’m going to say so having this conversation is pointless,” she said a little more annoyed than she had intended. “Sorry I don’t mean to sound like an asshole but I know you worry and I appreciate it but the best thing you could do for me would be to worry about yourself,” she turned to look at him to make sure he wasn’t about to cry. . again.

“Speaking of which, I called the rehab facility, you check in tomorrow morning. It’s called Fountain Hills Recovery. It’s basically a five star resort with doctors and shrinks and stuff. Only thing is the program lasts three months and that’s if they think you’ve recovered enough to leave. After that you stay at a sober living house with like. . two roommates who are also recovering. You do all that and you get to come home.”

“Five star resort? That sounds really expensive and if you haven’t noticed,” he waved his arms around his apartment. “There’s no way I can afford it and I know for a fact neither can you.”

“Actually, you don’t know shit sir. Gram’s left me a bit of money and we both know if she was still around she would already be dragging you out to the car by your ear.”

His chin began to quiver again.

“For fuck sake Laird,” she started to laugh again. It felt nice, she felt like she hadn’t laughed in months. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed him until she was standing right in front of him.

“Wait. . tomorrow? But you just got here! I thought we could spend some time together before I left. I could show you around Brooklyn.”

“I promise once you’re done with the program I’ll stay as long as you want and we can sightsee and you can show me all of your favorite places. I want to do all of that once you’re clean and sober. I won’t have a good time knowing you relapsed. I promise I won’t go sightseeing until you’re out. I mean I’ll try not to. If I’m here all day I might get bored though.”

“I paid rent for the next month so you wouldn’t have to worry about it. The month after that I may have some trouble since I won’t be able to earn any money.”

“I don’t want to know how you’ve been paying rent to begin with because it’s obvious you don’t have a job, which we will be addressing once you’re out. I can pay rent until then. I’ll be living here too after all. It’s only fair,” she said while giving him a look that plainly said there was no point arguing with her.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay fine, but I’ll be paying you back for everything somehow. . eventually.”

“First things first. Do you have WiFi and cable?” she looked around and realized he didn’t even have a TV. “You don’t even have a TV? Fuck Laird. Okay first thing I’m doing is getting some WiFi and cable. Then we’re gonna go shopping for groceries and a TV. And you need some new clothes. We’ll go to dinner and go to bed early since we have somewhere to be tomorrow morning. Any objections?”

Instead of verbally responding. Laird started crying and shaking his head no.

“I forgot how big of a crybaby you are!” 


	2. Stranger Danger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking to strangers isn't always a bad thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for trudging through the last chapter. I know a lot of people don't like OC stories and the first chapter was all backstory. More notes on that at the end of this chapter.
> 
> **Mentions of physical and sexual abuse as well as mental health issues and abortion**

The pictures Lucy had seen of the rehab facility didn't do it justice. For a moment she forgot why they were there. It felt like she was dropping Laird off for a relaxing vacation instead of to detox and sober up. Of course, he cried when he saw the place and when he had to tell her goodbye. The time they spent together the night before took the edge off a bit. He seemed a lot happier than he had been when she first arrived. 

“Promise me something?” Laird had said while hugging her goodbye.

“Depends what it is,” Lucy said over his shoulder.

“Promise me you won’t lock yourself away in the apartment. I know you prefer to be alone but meeting new people, at least making a couple of friends, would be good for you. I don’t want you to be alone the entire time I’m gone. I know you’re not very social but you’ve never lived completely on your own before. You’ve always had Gram’s. At least . . at least give Hannah a chance. You’ll be seeing her a lot. She’s not as bad as you think. Promise me you’ll make an effort,” he squeezed her tighter as if that would persuade her.

“UGH fine. We aren’t going to have matching BFF bracelets or anything but I’ll try to talk to her. . at least once a week. Deal?”

“Deal,” he said before letting her go and entering the facility.

* * *

It only took about a week for Laird’s apartment to feel like home. The large flat screen TV she bought him and the high speed internet she had installed definitely helped. She ran into Hannah frequently but it didn’t bother her as much as she thought it would, mostly because it was in passing. She hadn’t been forced into having another one on one with her since the day she had arrived. For the first two weeks she didn’t leave the apartment other than to take Jax for a walk. 

Unfortunately she still had a few loose ends to tie up in regards to her grandma’s estate and it took a lot longer than expected. Once she was sure everything in Arizona was taken care of and no longer needed to stress about it, she started to venture out more which meant unintentionally making new friends. 

Lucy had run into Hannah on a Wednesday afternoon on her way back from walking Jax. Hannah had planned to have a small get together at her apartment later that night and invited her to join them. She knew Lucy didn’t work and didn’t have any friends in the area so it was hard for her to make a believable excuse as to why she couldn’t go. It didn’t help that Laird’s request echoed in her head every time she thought about avoiding her.

Around 9pm, which is dinner time for New Yorker's apparently, she climbed up the stairs with Jax in toe. Her long black hair was pulled up into a messy bun at the top of her head. She was wearing a pair of denim shorts, flip flops, and a Star Wars t-shirt which was basically her normal attire. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to dress up or if she was supposed to bring anything for dinner. The extent of her social interactions back home involved spending time with Zoe, her grandma, or the occasional date Zoe forced her to go on. Being invited to a neighbors apartment for dinner with a bunch of strangers was a completely new experience for her.

Hannah answered the door immediately after she knocked and moved aside so her and Jax could enter the apartment. Sitting around her small dining room table were a handful of Hannah’s friends. When she had said it was a small get together with her close friends, Lucy had assumed there’d be two, maybe three, other people. Not over five. Who has that many ‘close’ friends? 

“Hi Lucy! I’m so glad you came!” Hannah said as she leaned in and hugged her. Instinctively, Lucy froze and kept her arms at her sides until Hannah pulled away. If she noticed how uncomfortable it had made her, she didn’t show it.

“Let me introduce you to everyone! This is Marnie and her boyfriend Charlie,” Hannah pointed towards a pretty brown haired girl and a man with a buzz cut sitting to her right.

“That’s Ray, his girlfriend Anna, and next to her is Shoshanna,” she pointed to an older looking man with a thick head of hair and a girl with eyes that looked too small for her face. 

“Oh my god it’s so nice to meet you. Hannah told me so much about you and how you’re like. . .Laird’s sister practically. I don’t have any siblings but I always wanted a sister,” Shoshanna said. She spoke so fast and said so much all at once, that Lucy had to stop and replay what she had said to make sure she didn’t miss anything.

“Oh my god you have a dog! I love dogs! What’s his name? He’s so pretty!” She got up from her seat and took a step in their direction. Lucy knew immediately she was going to crouch down to pet Jax, even though his vest clearly said not to. 

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, not wanting to snap at the polite girl she had literally just met. Lucy opened her mouth to ask her not to touch him but Ray beat her to it.

“Sosh leave him alone! Can’t you see he’s a service dog. His vest clearly says to leave him alone,” Ray said with a hint of annoyance in his tone.

When they all turned to look at him, Lucy mouthed “thank you” without anyone noticing. He gave her a quick nod which also went unnoticed by everyone else in the apartment.

“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize he was a service dog. Is he yours? I mean like. . does he help you out? Hannah said he goes everywhere with you.”

“Soshanna you can’t just ask someone if they have a disability. It’s obviously her dog and if she wanted to announce why she had him she would. Don’t be so rude,” Marnie said to her before giving Lucy a small understanding smile.

Lucy felt bad for Shoshanna, she meant no harm and was just trying to strike up a conversation. The girl really liked to talk. Everyone seemed to be snapping at her, even though she meant well.

“Geez guys I wasn’t trying to be rude!” She huffed and sat back down at the table.

“Thanks guys and it’s okay Shoshanna it's not a big deal,” Lucy said awkwardly. 

Hannah pulled out a chair for her to join them at the table. They ate and talked for a little over an hour. Even though she was the exact opposite of everyone in the apartment, Lucy was surprised at how easy it was to hang out with them. At least it was until they started ranting about people she had never met before.

“Hey have you heard from Jessa? I thought she was staying with you Sosh. Wasn’t she supposed to show up?” Marnie asked.

“Yeah I saw her earlier. She said she was coming. I haven’t talked to her since.”

“You guys know how she is. She does everything on her own time when she wants. It doesn’t matter if she’s inconveniencing everyone else. All that Jessa cares about is Jessa,” Hannah huffed. 

“What happened to Adam? That’s your boyfriend’s name right? I’m starting to think you made him up. You talk about him all the time but none of us have met him.” Ray said as he took a drink of his wine.

“He exists! At least he did a week ago. He does this thing where I’ll talk to him every day or see him every day for a couple days in a row and then he vanishes. Radio silence for weeks. I don’t want to be ‘that’ girl so I don’t want to just stop by his apartment. If he wanted to talk to me he would but yes, his name is Adam. I invited him but he said it wasn’t his thing and he would be busy,” Hannah said, obviously irritated. “And for the record, Marnie has met him so there’s proof he exists.”

“You didn’t tell me you met him Marn! What’s he like?” Soshanna asked, resting her elbows on the table and leaning in close.

“He’s . . different. .” Marnie said, taking a drink of her wine as if that would prevent her from having to elaborate.

“Different how?” Charlie asked.

“Okay. . he’s really fucking weird and a freak in bed according to Hannah,” Marnie chuckled.

“Oh my god tell me everything,” Sosh said.

“Okay for example. Last time we had sex he had my knees bent and pressed against my stomach and while he was thrusting into me he was saying how he met me while I was walking home when I was eleven and was carrying my lunchbox and he was going to send me home covered in his cum so my parents could see. Then after he came on my tits he asked me if I wanted a Gatorade,” she nervously chuckled. She was trying to make light of it, knowing her friends would judge not only Adam, but her for staying with him.

Lucy was extremely close with Zoe but they had never discussed their sex lives so. . graphically. Of course they talked about guys, their dick sizes, and if they were good in bed, but nothing as graphic. She was in no way a prude or shy about her sexuality. She thought it was weird how normal this type of conversation was to these people.  Her friends looked completely shocked and disgusted. Lucy snorted then began to laugh loudly. She wasn’t sure what was funnier, the stuff Hannah’s boyfriend said during sex or how they were all so appalled by it.

When they all looked at her as if  _ she  _ were the one that just threatened to send Hannah home to her parents covered in cum, she cleared her throat and composed herself. “Sorry. That’s just really really funny and the look on your faces made it even funnier.” The girls ignored her comment and continued discussing how weird Hannah’s boyfriend was without her. Ray smiled at her and chuckled at her outburst.

She decided if she was going to be close with any of these people, it would probably be Ray. He was polite but he was also blunt and had no issue calling people out on their bullshit. Hannah’s friend Jessa showed up around 10pm, giving Hannah what seemed like a half-assed apology for being late.  Jessa seemed very bohemian and more carefree than the others. She had an accent making it clear she wasn’t from the US and she was even more open about personal matters than the other girls were.

They were all huddled in the bathroom whispering about something while Lucy sat with Charlie, Ray, and his girlfriend at the table. That’s about the time she decided to call it a night. She knew they weren’t talking about her but it was obvious how close the girls were. Lucy couldn’t help but feel extremely out of place while she sat at the table with the guys.  She walked to the bathroom and lightly knocked on the door with the intention of thanking Hannah for inviting her, and escaping to the safety of her quiet uncrowded apartment. Instead, Hannah opened the door and pulled her into the bathroom before shutting it behind her. Jessa was naked in the tub while the other girls stood or sat around her.

“Um. . I just wanted to say bye and thanks for inviting me. I wasn’t trying to intrude on whatever this,” Lucy waved her hands in their direction, ‘is.”

“You’re not intruding. I was just telling them I just found out I’m pregnant,” Jessa said nonchalantly.

“Oh. Congratu -”

“And I’m getting an abortion,” Jessa interrupted.

“lations,” Lucy finished.

She had no idea what to say or do in a situation like this. She literally just met these people and now she was sitting in the bathroom while one of them was completely naked, bathing, and talking about her upcoming abortion as if she was talking about grabbing a cup of coffee.

“Well. . congrats on your upcoming abortion I guess,” Lucy said.

She had the tendency to speak before thinking about what she was about to say or how it would be perceived. The girls all turned to look at her, not expecting that response. Just as the silent stares began to get uncomfortable, Jessa spoke.

“I like you. We should hang out,” she said with a smile before turning her attention back to her bath.

“Surrrre. . anyways. Thanks for having me. I’ll see you guys around.” 

Before any of them could say anything else or involve her in another awkward conversation, she quickly exited the bathroom. She politely said bye to Ray, Charlie, and Ray’s girlfriend, and exited the apartment. Ray stopped her before she reached the stairs.

“Hey Lucy hang on,” he said as he closed the apartment door.

“What’s up Ray?”

“I hope this doesn’t come off too forward. But can I have your number? I know you’re new here and Laird is gone. I can also tell you’re not exactly. . comfortable with the girls. It may help having a friend around here. Also, if you need a job I manage a coffee shop not too far from here. We have some open positions if you’re interested. I’m not interested in you in romantically by the way,” he added.

Lucy couldn’t help but laugh at his bluntness. “Was it that obvious that I was uncomfortable in there? I thought for sure you guys bought my act. I usually come off as rude and I don’t really like small talk much. I also have like one female friend. I’m not used to that much estrogen or so much. . talking in one sitting. I don’t mind them though. And sure, you can have my number. I don’t have a job but I’m not looking for one. However, coffee is my favorite thing in the world so I will definitely be stopping by.”

“Okay great,” Ray said as he pulled out his phone. “You can call me or text me if you need anything.”

“Thanks Ray. It was nice meeting you,” Lucy said with a smile before turning and walking down the stairs with Jax.

When she reached her apartment she closed the door and threw herself onto the couch.

“I have filled my social interaction quota for next week Jax.”

* * *

A week passed before she started to leave the apartment again. True to his word, Ray was a call or text away. She had originally texted him for the address to his coffee shop but after that they texted daily. She was glad he had made it clear to begin with that he had no interest in her romantically. Having those conversations with guys was never fun. He seemed to genuinely be interested in being just her friend. It became routine for her to visit the coffee shop at least once, sometimes twice a day. 

At first, Lucy had been a little paranoid when it came to wandering around New York by herself at night. She blamed all of the movies she had watched that had women getting mugged or raped whenever they were alone in the mean streets of New York. Jax seemed to work as a deterrent and it didn’t take long for her to prefer being out at night. It seemed like no matter what time it was there were always people around doing one thing or another.  One night she was walking into the apartment building when she saw a taller good looking man standing at the bottom of the stairs texting someone angrily. After sending a text he began to pace back and forth while biting his thumbnail as he waited for a response. When he didn’t get one after 30 seconds, he made a call.

“Hannah I know you’re awake. I’m downstairs- no we need to talk right now so you need to get your ass up and open the door. I’m not leaving until you talk to me. I’m sick as shit of you ignoring me.” 

He hung up on her before she could respond. He looked down at the ground, took a deep breath, then looked back up. That’s when he realized he wasn’t alone.

“Are you okay?” Lucy asked suspiciously. Based on the conversation she concluded the handsome man in front of her was Adam, Hannah’s “weird” boyfriend. When she pictured him she definitely had not envisioned what she was currently seeing. The man was tall as hell, muscular yet lanky. His thick black hair was wavy and almost to his chin. She could tell he grew it out to hide his rather large ears that peeked out of his hair when he moved a certain way. His eyes were an intense shade of hazel. Quite frankly, he was gorgeous.

“No I’m fucking not okay. I’m anything but okay,” he said adamantly while using his hands to emphasize what he was saying.

“Uhhh well okay. You’re Adam Hannah’s boyfriend right? She's mentioned you before.”

“Tch. Maybe I used to be but now I’m starting to doubt it,” Lucy opened her mouth to speak but Adam continued to ramble. “She’s such a bitch and she’s so fucking frustrating. UGH!” he half yelled, running his hands through his hair and pulling painfully hard. Adam was indeed ‘weird,’ but not in the way they described. 

“I don’t really know what to say. I suck at small talk and speaking to people in general and I’m the fucking worst at consoling anyone. I’ll make things worse if anything. That being said, I’m not going to lie and say everything will be okay because I don’t know you guys well enough to even suggest that. Just. . I dunno. Don’t do anything stupid. Hannah seems like the dramatic type that likes to make everything a bigger deal than it is,” Lucy shrugged and glanced away from Adam. He was looking at her so intensely she had to break eye contact.

“Don’t force yourself on her,” she added. Adam blanched at her words making Lucy realize what she just implied. “Shit I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t mean don’t physically force yourself on her. I didn’t mean like rape. Obviously don’t do that. You don’t seem like that type . . not that rapists really-” Lucy stopped, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She didn’t notice Adam biting back a smile.

“I meant. . if she doesn’t want you around then keep your distance. Forcing yourself into her space or into her life will only make things worse. It sucks, but if you want it to work that’s the only way you’ll get anywhere with her. At least from my experience with girls like her,” Lucy said as she looked down at her feet.  When Adam didn’t respond she looked up. He was still staring at her intensely but this time he was smirking and no longer pacing.

“You’re really pretty. Thanks for not thinking I’m a rapist,” he said before turning and running up the stairs.

“Uh thanks I guess,” Lucy mumbled as she watched him go up the stairs. 

Fifteen minutes later she left her apartment to check the mail when she heard yelling, doors slamming, and glass breaking coming from upstairs near Hannah’s apartment. 

“Shit,” she said under her breath. She definitely didn’t want to get involved. It was none of her business whatsoever so she had no idea why she hovered in front of her open apartment door longer than necessary. The door upstairs opened and slammed shut. Seconds later Adam was running down the stairs two at a time. Hannah stood at the railing yelling down at him.

“I called the cops Adam! Leave me alone!”

He paused at the bottom of the stairs.  “You called the fucking cops? Are you fucking kidding me? I didn’t do shit to you!” he yelled.

“I told you to go away and you didn’t. Then you broke into my apartment!”

“I used the fucking key under the mat!” he yelled back as he moved to go back up the stairs to continue their argument. 

Lucy could see the faint red and blue lights of a police car as it slowly crept closer to their building. She knew Hannah couldn’t see the door to the apartment building or see her door so she made a split second decision she hoped she wouldn’t regret. 

“Adam!” Lucy whispered loudly.

“WHAT?” he yelled before turning towards her.

“Don’t yell at me asshole! Get in here!”

“What?” he asked again but not as loudly while narrowing his eyes at her.

“The cops are outside. If you walk out that door, they’re probably going to arrest you if Hannah told them you broke into her apartment. Even if she doesn’t want to press charges they'll keep you overnight. I don’t know if you have a criminal record which I hope you don’t at least not for something like violence against women,” Lucy paused.

“What the hell is wrong with you? That’s the second time you’ve suggested that!” he half yelled.

“The first time wasn’t intentional!” Lucy started to yell back. She could see the cops approaching from across the street.

“The door to my apartment is going to be open for the next 10 seconds. You’re more than welcome to take advantage of that before New York’s finest enter the building and believe whatever story Hannah decides to spin. Or, you can leave and hope they believe you over her. Your choice,” Lucy turned her back on him and entered her apartment without closing the door behind her.

Adam glanced between the entrance to the apartment, Lucy’s door, and Hannah’s door once before hastily entering Lucy’s apartment and closing the door behind him. A moment later, they could hear two police officers trudge up the stairs to Hannah’s apartment. Adam leaned his head against the door with his eyes closed.  Lucy leaned against the couch with her arms crossed, watching him. She wasn’t sure what happened upstairs with Hannah but she did hear a lot of yelling and glass breaking before he exited the apartment. She had heard Hannah vaguely mention how bad Adam’s temper was during one of her ‘complain about Adam’ sessions but she hadn’t suggested he was violent in anyway. 

Being alone in her apartment with a complete stranger would have made her a lot more uncomfortable had Jax not been sitting next to her, gauging the stranger that had entered his domain. In hindsight, her rash decision was completely idiotic. She just hoped everything Hannah had said about him was either wrong or completely blown out of proportion.

Adam ran both hands through his hair and pulled as he crouched over. “FUCK” he yelled before turning and punching a hole in the wall right next to the door. Jax tensed but didn’t leave Lucy’s side because she wasn’t scared, she was pissed. She marched over to him and shoved him against the front door, hard.

“Are you out of your goddamn mind!” she said through gritted teeth. She knew the cops still hadn’t left and probably heard his outburst. If they kept yelling their next stop would be her apartment and she’d be damned if she was going to get in trouble for being nice to a stranger. Her actions shocked Adam enough to instantly snap him out of whatever fit he was throwing.

“Stop acting like a fucking child! I don’t know you at all. What little I know about you is the bullshit Hannah likes to say about you to her friends or to me because she thinks I give two shits about her personal life. For all I know she could be right and I’ve made a really fucking stupid decision to help you out. Your girlfriend called the cops on you for, I’m assuming, throwing a tantrum up there if the door slamming and glass breaking were any indicators. Instead of letting your ass get arrested I let you into  _ my _ home and instead of saying “Thank you stranger for letting me into your home,” you punch a hole in my wall. What the actual fuck?!”

Lucy was so angry she was almost sweating. One of her hands was clenched by her side while she jabbed a finger into Adam’s rather muscular chest during her rant. She wasn’t sure if shoving him snapped him out of his rage or if her rant did but it was obvious he had calmed down.

“If you’re going to keep acting like a spoiled brat who just got their toy taken away, feel free to get the fuck out. I suck with kids and have no interest in coddling you. If you want to act like a fucking adult, you’re more than welcome to hang out here until the cops leave,” Lucy said quietly.

Adam wasn’t sure which was more intimidating, when she was practically yelling or when she was speaking quietly. Either way, he was impressed and extremely turned on. She was about to start yelling at him again when he finally spoke.

“Do you have any milk?”

His extremely random question instantly melted away her anger and replaced it with confusion. She took a step away from him, realizing how close she had gotten to him while she had been yelling at him. "What?"

“Milk. Do you have any?”

“Yes. . . Cups are in the cabinet above the coffee machine,” Lucy said with a raised eyebrow before walking back to the couch and leaning on the back of it with her arms crossed. 

She watched as he grabbed the carton of milk and a glass from the cabinet. He paused once he saw her medication sitting on the small shelf next to the coffee maker, then glanced at the notes on the fridge reminding her to take her pills.  When he realized he was staring at the pill bottles, he shook his head and continued what he was doing. He filled a glass with milk, chugged it, then poured himself another one before leaning his back against the counter. 

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked after wiping his mouth and setting his glass down.

“Excuse me?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. There were multiple ways that question could be construed. Even though she had a feeling she knew what he was asking, she wanted him to clarify.

“I asked what’s wrong with you. You have the service. . wolf. . Jesus that dog is huge. . and you have all these pills. What’s wrong with you?”

“How much time do you have,” Lucy smirked before looking at the sleeves of the oversized sweater she was wearing. 

“I don’t have plans aside for avoiding arrest,” he said as he grabbed the entire milk carton and his glass before making himself comfortable on her couch. After setting both his glass and the carton of milk on the coffee table in front of him, he turned his attention back to her. 

She walked around the couch and was about to sit in the recliner next to it when he patted the spot next to him roughly. Sighing, she walked away from the recliner and sat at the opposite end of the couch. When the silence was becoming uncomfortable, which didn’t take long, he spoke.

“Are you going to tell me willingly or do I need to bug the shit out of you until you give up?” 

“Ugh fine. I have slew of mental illnesses which is what half those medications are for. Jax helps with the PTSD and neurological issues,” Lucy said without making eye contact with him. She had grabbed the TV remote and turned the TV on just so she had something to do with her hands.

“What kind of mental illnesses and what neurological issues? You have a temper which is obvious. Do those pills stop you from Hulk raging?”

“I may have a bit of a temper but only when people are acting like complete over-dramatic jackasses. To answer your question, no. None of those pills are for anger issues.”

“Soooooo. . “

“Fuck. Depression, BPD, Bi-Polar disorder, ADD, and OCD. My head is fucked up in every way possible alright?” she huffed.

“What happens without the pills? Do you lose your shit?”

“Around other people? No. I’m no fun to be around but I don’t take them for everyone else's sake. I take them because I don’t like the way I feel when without them. I don’t like the way I think and all of that shit but technically I can function without them I’d just prefer not to.”

“What about the neurological shit? What’s that about?”

“I have really bad seizures. Jax can sense when it’s about to happen. He can warn me so I know to sit down or find somewhere safe to ride it out. If it gets bad enough he’s trained to get help.”

“Well that’s really fucking cool,” Adam said as he glanced at Jax. “The dog not the seizures,” he added in case she misunderstood his meaning.

“Yep.”

“Were you born all fucked up in the head or did something happen?”

_ "There is no way he hasn’t gotten his ass beat at least a couple of times for the shit he says. Most people would be so offended they would have kicked him out by now," _ Lucy thought.

“Mental illness runs in my family, I think part of it is from that. Part of it is because my mom has shitty taste in men.” 

When he was quiet for a beat too long she looked up at him. As expected, he was gaving her a look that suggested he was waiting for her to continue.

She sighed before rubbing her face with her hands. “The PTSD is because one of my moms boyfriends was handsy and stalked us for a while before he eventually murdered someone. Epilepsy is because another one of my mom’s boyfriends was about to beat her but I got in the way. Not sure if it was intentional or not but he slammed my head between the bedroom door and the door frame. I’ve had issues ever since. The notes around the apartment are because I forget things really easily. My grandma basically raised me and took care of me. She helped make sure I didn’t forget to take my meds and go to the doctors because my memory is shit but she died a little over a month ago so everyone is worried I’m going to forget my meds. When that happens I’ll randomly seize and sometimes it’s bad enough that I need to be hospitalized. That’s what the meds are for. That’s what’s wrong with me. That’s why Jax goes with me everywhere. Any other questions?”

The entire time Lucy spoke she kept her eyes on the television. She was unsure how Adam would respond or what he would think so she avoided eye contact with him. No one had ever been downright pushy when asking about her personal life. No one else really ever seemed to genuinely care. For some reason that made it a lot easier to talk to Adam.

“Well that’s really shitty Kid. I’m sorry all that shit happened to you. No one really deserves that. Is that guy still alive?”

“What guy?”

“The one that got 'handsy'?”

“Oh. Last time I checked ya. My mom didn’t believe me when I told her about it so she never called the cops or anything. She kept dating him. She’d invite him over when I was home alone and shit. But yes, he’s still alive I think.”

“Jesus Christ!” Adam practically yelled as he stood up.

“What?” Lucy asked with a scowl.

“That’s so fucked up. What the fucking fuck? Who does that shit? Your mom is a bitch. Want me to kill that guy? Or maybe just break his legs? I have an industrial vice I use for word working. We could use that,” he said as he paced. 

Lucy couldn’t help but laugh. Maybe she should worry about his offer to commit homicide but it was hard not to be endeared by how upset he was over her past. Especially since he didn’t even know her name.

“Yeah my mom’s a piece of shit and no you don’t need to kill him. I don’t know where he’s at for one. For two, and no offense, but you don’t seem like the type that’s good at being sneaky. There’s no way you would get away with murder. Plus, I wouldn’t want you to go to prison because my mom sucks. But I greatly appreciate the offer and will keep that in mind should someone else wrong me in the future,” she chuckled.

“Okay I guess. But keep that shit in mind! And if . . if anything like that happens again you better fucking tell me got it?” he pointed a finger at her to emphasize how serious he was and didn’t sit back down until she nodded in agreement.

He was quiet for a few minutes before standing and walking around the apartment, poking his head into Ray’s bedroom and the bathroom before walking into her bedroom. 

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I’ve never been in Laird’s apartment before. I’ve seen it from the hallway when Hannah’s needed something from him while I was with her but I’ve never been inside. It looks different from what I saw. It’s nicer than I thought.”

“Oh. Once he left I re-decorated and replaced a ton of shit.”

“Where did he go? Hannah said he relapsed,” he yelled from her bedroom. Curiosity got the best of her as she stood and went to her room.

Adam was walking around the room, staring at her pictures and picking up random knick knacks she had brought from home.

“I’m paying for him to go to rehab. He’s gonna be gone for a few months. I agreed to watch his place while he’s gone.”

“Where are you from?”

“Am I being interrogated? I’ve never been interrogated but I have a feeling it’s a lot like this,” she smirked.

He didn’t respond but instead picked up a picture of her with her grandmother at her high school graduation. He glanced at her and gave her that same look, silently demanding she answer his questions.

“I’m from Arizona. I’m Laird’s cousin but we grew up together and I think of him more like a brother. Not sure if that was mentioned or if that was something else Hannah told you. Laird called me when my grandmother died because he knew we were close and also confessed to using again. I got here two days after that and checked him into rehab. My birthday is in October. I’m allergic to Penicillin. I hate eggs and bugs. I love horror movies and Disney stuff. I also dabble in some anime. I despise the rest of my family, especially my mother. Flying fox Bats are my favorite animal. I practically live off of coffee. Teal is my favorite color. I’m single and I’m 22. Is there  _ anything _ else you want to know? Because this is the most I’ve ever talked about myself and I’m over it,” Lucy huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

During her rant, Adam had stopped touching stuff and turned to face her. The entire time she spoke his eyes never left hers.

“Let’s go,” he walked past her and grabbed her hand as he left her room.

“Wh-what? Go where?”

“I don’t know. Somewhere. You hungry? We could get food or coffee. You said you like coffee right? Let’s go get coffee,” he said as he continued to drag her towards her front door. He either hadn’t noticed or didn’t care that she was barefoot and not really dressed to go out in public. 

“Wait Adam!” he paused and turned to face her. “What?” he asked, a bit harsher than he intended. “Forget I asked. I’m leaving,” he released her hand with a huff and continued towards the door.

“Wait a damn minute!” he paused before he could open the door.

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to go asshole. Look at me! I’m not dressed to go anywhere,” she frowned.

“I don’t see anything wrong with what you’re wearing. You look great,” he said sincerely.

She willed her cheeks not to redden.

“Thank you but I’m not even wearing shoes. Let me change and grab my shoes, then we can go. But if you’re too damn impatient you’re free to go alone,” she crossed her arms and waited to see whether he was going to leave or wait for her.

“You look good but fine whatever. Hurry up,” he said without making eye contact with her. When he glanced up she smiled at him before walking towards her room. Before fully entering she pulled her hoodie over her head and threw it on her bed. Adam tried not to notice when her shirt was lifted half way up with her hoodie, exposing the soft skin of her back and the two dimples peaking out above her shorts. Swallowing thickly, he looked away before he could get caught staring.

“Hurry up hurry up,” he called out to her without looking in her direction. She came out of her room a minute later in a plain black v-neck shirt and denim shorts. As she slid her black sandals on she pulled her hair out of the loose ponytail it was in and twisted it into a messy bun on top of her head. Adam watched as a few stray hairs escaped the bun and rested on each side of her face.

“You’re so damn impatient. Let’s go,” she said as she walked up to Adam who was standing with his hand on the doorknob, staring at her.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said after clearing his throat. 

“Oh wait,” she said when he opened the door.

"UGH what now?” he groaned, throwing his head back and staring at the ceiling.

“Fuck you’re annoying. I was going to suggest I go first and make sure the coast is clear but screw you. Go ahead.” 

He hesitated and side eyed her, unwilling to admit she had made a good point. 

“That’s what I thought,” she said as she walked past him. She motioned for him and Jax to wait by the apartment door as she walked to the stairwell and glanced up towards Hannah’s apartment and took a look outside the apartment building to make sure the cops were no longer there. 

“Coast is clear. Here,” she tossed Adam her house keys. “Lock the door please.” She watched as Adam stepped aside so Jax could exit the apartment before shutting the door and locking it. He was the first person she’s met in New York that hadn’t treated him like a pet and she couldn’t help but smile at the gesture.

“What?” he asked suspiciously when he saw her smiling at him. He narrowed his eyes at her before tossing her the apartment keys. She shoved them into the extremely small crossbody bag she had with her.

“Why do you have that? It’s small as shit. Can you even fit anything in there?” He asked as he snapped the purse strap across her chest.

“My phone, keys, and a leash.”

“A leash?” he asked as he opened the door for her and Jax to exit the apartment building.

“Yeah. Back home I don’t need to keep Jax on a leash. As you can see he doesn’t need it. I couldn’t find anything about leash laws and service dogs here and I’ve already almost punched a couple of people that had issues with him so just to avoid any possible issues while we’re out, I keep it with me.”

“That’s fucking stupid. Don’t do that,” he said with a frown as they started to walk down the street.

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t do shit just to make other people feel better. Fuck that. No. What you do with him is nobody's business. Who cares if other people are uncomfortable. Do what makes  _ you _ comfortable and fuck everything else,” he shook his head.

“I’ll try,’ she said with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I'm not trying to make this gloomy and deep but I feel like I should mention something. 90% of Lucy's backstory is based on my personal past with mental health issues (including her diagnosis), abuse, and a dysfunctional family. This includes Lucy's relationship with her mom and grandma. I also suffered from head trauma but luckily not to the extent of having any long lasting effects.
> 
> Hopefully not too many of you can relate to what I've been through or what Lucy has been through but if you can, I hope my portrayal of her character is fairly accurate. 
> 
> PS- I actually googled rehab facilities and leash laws in Brooklyn :)


	3. Panic Attack

Lucy learned pretty quickly that she wasn’t the only socially awkward one in Laird’s weird group of friends/acquaintances. Adam easily topped her in that category. He wasn’t much of a talker but there was rarely any awkward silence between them and when he found something he wanted to talk about he usually was really animated.

She was happy to see Ray was working when they arrived at his coffee shop. As soon as he saw her he started making her drink. The way Adam was looking around the place made it seem like he had never been there before but he had taken them straight there which struck Lucy as odd. When Ray was sure Adam’s attention was elsewhere, he made eye contact with her, raised an eyebrow then glanced at Adam. She pulled her phone out and tapped the screen, knowing he would take the hint and text her later.

“What are you two up to?” Ray asked nonchalantly. 

“Hannah called the cops on me because I wanted to talk to her. She saved my ass and snuck me into her apartment until they left. What do you normally drink here?” Adam answered as if getting the cops called on him was a regular occurrence, which it technically could be, she had only known him for an hour.

“Uh I usually get a hot mocha.”

“Okay I’ll have one of those too,” Adam said as he pulled out his wallet.

“I can pay for it,” Lucy said as she began to open her purse.

“No. Here,” he said as he shoved some cash at Ray.

Ray froze for a second as he absorbed what Adam had just said then glanced at Lucy for confirmation. She smiled and shrugged before leaning against the counter. Adam’s attention was already elsewhere and hadn’t witnessed the look they had given each other.

“Here you go,” Ray handed them both their drinks and kept watching the two of them interact.

“Thank’s Ray. Talk to you later?” 

“I won’t be off for a while but I’ll text you,” Ray said before turning his attention to the line that had slowly begun to form.

Adam had been watching the two interact with a curious expression on his face. When he saw Lucy say goodbye to Ray, he opened the door for her and began to walk back towards her apartment.

“Are you guys fucking?”

Lucy had just taken a drink from her coffee when he blurted out that question. She choked, spit out the coffee, and began to cough. Adam patted her on the back and waited for her to stop choking. She scowled at him until she was able to talk again.

“What the fuck?”

“What? You either aren’t or you are. Do you like him?”

“No we aren’t fucking! I told you, I’m single and no I don’t like him. Not romantically. He’s the only person I really consider a friend here.”

“You don’t have to be in a relationship to be fucking someone so saying you’re single means nothing. You don’t consider Hannah and the annoying bitches she hangs out with your friends?”

“Oh definitely not. They’re polite to me and I don’t mind hanging out with them in doses but they’re...a lot. Ya know? I don’t trust them enough to tell them anything personal and we have _nothing_ in common. The only one I can say I could kinda see being friends with is Jessa but even that’s a stretch.”

“You told me personal stuff. Do you consider me a friend?”

They had stopped walking when Lucy had choked on her coffee and hadn’t continued until Adam asked that question. He began to walk ahead of her.

“Well I told you personal stuff because you were going to nag me to death if I didn’t. But I don’t know yet. I’ve known you for like an hour. If you play your cards right maybe,” she smiled. She heard him chuckle and caught up to him when they stopped at a corner, waiting for the light to change.

When it was their turn to walk they took a couple of steps off of the curb when a car continued through the light, braking at the last minute, nearly running the three of them over. Adam somehow managed to step in front of Jax and Lucy, not like it would have made a difference. 

“WHAT THE FUCK! DON’T YOU SEE I’M WALKING WITH A LADY!” He yelled while slamming his hands on the hood of the car. The man yelled back at him and honked. “YOU COULD HAVE KILLED US! YOU ALMOST HIT US WITH YOUR FUCKING CAR YOU FUCKING CUNT SATCHEL!”

Even though Lucy understood why Adam was mad and had no issue with his behavior, she wanted to calm him down. He had already had the cops called on him once that night, they didn’t need it to happen again. Not when they couldn’t hide in her apartment. 

“Adam,” Lucy said. He ignored her and continued to yell at the man.

“ADAM!”

She yelled as she took a step closer to him, grabbed his chin with her hand roughly, and forced him to look at her.

“Chill out. The asshole deserves a beating but the cops have already been called on you once tonight. We’re too far away from my apartment to hide from them again. It’s not worth it. Let’s go,” she whispered loudly. When the man honked again, Lucy turned her head towards the driver and glared so hard the man paused for a minute. The entire time she held on to Adam’s chin and forced him to keep his attention on her.

“Honk that horn one more time and I’ll personally beat the shit out of you,” Lucy yelled at the man in the car.

When he lowered his hand from the horn, she turned her attention back to Adam. He hadn’t pulled out of her grasp and he hadn’t pushed her hand away. He stood still as if waiting for a command.

“You good?” She watched as he swallowed thickly then nodded.

“Good, lets go. I’ve had enough excitement for one night,” she said as she walked around him.

She paused when she noticed he wasn’t walking next to her. He was still standing in front of the car and glaring at the driver. This time he wasn't yelling or beating the man’s car. She sighed and marched back over to him, grabbed him by the hand, and tugged him in the direction they were walking. They walked in silence for a bit because she could tell Adam was still pissed off.

“Ya know,” she started once the silence began to get to her. “I’m sure this isn’t the first time you’ve heard this but you have anger issues.” 

"You're one to talk."

“Just sayin. The way you act out, throwing shit and punching stuff, it’s going to get you in trouble. It’s violent. It can be scary. Especially since you kinda tower over people,” she smirked thinking he’d have some weird sarcastic response. Instead he stopped walking and looked down at her.

“Do I scare _you_?”

“No. Are you trying to?”

“No,” he mumbled. When he started to walk away again she called out to him.

“Adam?”

“What?” 

“What’s my name?”

“. . . .” 

* * *

After that first night Adam started to come around often and unannounced. She didn’t mind because she was always home and rarely busy. Plus, it helped her keep her promise to Laird.

He was a bit of a pervert and didn’t bother trying to hide it. He never shut the door when he used the bathroom at her apartment, showered when he wanted to (usually with the door open), and had no problem changing whether she was in the room or not. She started to question whether he did it because he literally could care less whether someone saw him naked or if he was doing it to get her attention. She honestly had no issue with it either way but part of her did prefer the latter.

He very rarely spoke about himself, his family, or his past. One of the first tidbits she managed to get out of him was the fact that he was an actor, or trying to be. He didn’t really have a steady job and preferred to build stuff in his apartment. From the sound of it, he hadn’t had very much luck with auditions and had stopped looking for a while. She could tell it was a touchy subject, so she didn’t push but she filed that information away for later.

The fact that they had been spending a lot of time together did not go unnoticed. Ray was the first one to point it out of course, and he made sure to mention what he knew about Adam which was of course told to him by Hannah. He was the only one that knew for a while, until Adam and Lucy were leaving her apartment together and ran into Hannah.

* * *

Hannah spotted Adam at the bottom of the stairs before noticing he wasn't alone and that he wasn’t there for her.

“Adam, why are you here? You’re practically stalking me now! I told you to leave me alone!”

“Oh fuck off. Not everything’s about you.”

“Then why are you here?” She snapped at him.

“Let’s go kid!” Adam yelled without breaking eye contact with Hannah.

Hannah heard a door shut before Lucy approached Adam, unaware that Hannah was watching them. Lucy grumbled as she was shoving her keys into her bag. “You’re so god damn impatient. I don’t know why I even let you tag along with-"

She glanced up at Adam and noticed he was glaring up the stairs. When she followed his line of sight she noticed a very unhappy looking Hannah. 

“Oh hey Hannah. What’s up?” Lucy asked while shoving her keys in her bag.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other,” she said. Her irritation was evident based on her tone.

“We-"

Adam cut her off before she could continue. “We didn’t until a couple of weeks ago when you were acting like a crazy bitch and called the cops on me. If it wasn’t for her I-“

“I was acting like a crazy bitch? You’re the-"

“You’re so fucking annoying I-"

Lucy said nothing as she turned and exited the building with Jax, letting the two exes hash it out on their own. She had nothing to do with their relationship and had no desire to get caught in the middle. Lucy managed to make it around the block before she heard Adam calling for her.

“Kid! Hey kid! Slow the fuck down!” 

She kept walking even though she heard him trying to catch up to her. He wrapped one arm around her waist, lifted her off the ground, and set her back down. It was the first time he had touched her and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. It didn’t make her uncomfortable but she did find it awfully convenient how he did it right after running into his ex.

“What the hell? Why did you leave?”

“Why would I stay? I have no desire to get dragged into the shit you two have going on.”

“There is no shit going on between us. I’m done with her and I have been done with her since the day I met you.”

Lucy wasn’t sure how to respond to that. She wasn’t sure if he meant it in a flirty way or a matter of fact way. 

“You don’t have to convince me. If there is or ends up being something between you guys again it’s none of my business as long as you’re happy. I don’t want to be dragged into any drama. I don’t want to be “that girl” and I don’t want to have to deal with stupid high school gossip shit. And that’s exactly what’s going to happen with Hannah and her friends now.”

“Since when do you care what they think?”

“I don’t. But that doesn’t mean being involved doesn’t bother me.”

* * *

The owner of the coffee shop Ray managed basically handed him his own shop. To celebrate Marnie decided to throw a party at a local bar the group liked to frequent. Lucy hasn’t been invited yet but wasn’t intending on going even if she had been. A couple of days prior, Jessa randomly stopped by her apartment and asked her to “hang out.” She casually mentioned Ray’s party and how she should go.

“Um...I wasn’t really invited. Plus, I’m not big on bars and what not,” Lucy said while making coffee.

“I don’t think it’s anything personal. Marnie is...well honestly she’s kind of a stuck up bitch,” Jessa giggled. “I really think she just sort of forgot you were kind of our friend. I don’t think they realize how close you and Ray are. You do realize he’s going to invite you or ask why you’re not there when he shows up right?” Lucy sighed. She was fully aware that’s exactly what would happen. Jessa smiled at her knowing she was right.

She didn’t know what to make of Jessa’s sudden interest in being her friend. Part of her suspected it was an act. That she was trying to get close to her to get personal information about her or Adam so she could run back to her friends. The other part of her felt like it wasn’t really about her. Jessa seemed to hang out with her friends out of routine, because they had been friends for so long, not necessarily because they were close. She knew Lucy wasn’t close with any of them so a majority of the time she stopped by her apartment, she would vent about her other friends. Lucy didn’t mind letting her get it off her chest but she never chimed in and added her own complaints about any of them. Like she told Adam, she didn’t need any drama.

“So. It’s settled. You’re going. Are you going to bring-"

Adam let himself into the apartment. Both Adam and Jessa looked at each other suspiciously before looking back at Lucy. They both obviously hadn’t intended on running into each other there of all places.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Adam asked rudely as he threw his backpack on the ground and started stripping as he walked to the bathroom. Leaving a trail of clothes in his wake. Once it was obvious Adam was in the shower, Jessa's head spun around and she stared at Lucy with a knowing look. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Lucy huffed.

“How long have you two been fucking? Does Hannah know?”

Lucy groaned and threw her arms up in the air. “We AREN’T fucking. We’re not together! I should tattoo it on my forehead for Christ’s sake. Hannah knows we are hanging out so I’m guessing she thinks we’re screwing just like everyone else does.”

“Homeboy let himself into your apartment and started stripping. Then once he’s naked and without shutting the door, he takes a shower...and you expect me to believe you haven’t at least touched it?”

Lucy couldn’t help but laugh at the incredulous look on Jessa’s face. “He’s weird as fuck but he’s also hot and so are you. I don’t buy it.” Lucy opened her mouth to speak but Jessa cut her off.

“Also, he rarely ever spent time at Hannah’s apartment. I think I saw him there maybe once and he didn’t barge in and make himself at home. If you’re not sleeping with him then you’re sleeping with Ray.”

“You guys think my life is far more exciting than it really is. I’m not sleeping with anyone. Period. They’re just my friends. I feel like I have more in common with them than you and your friends. No offense.”

“None taken.”

“And I think we just understand each other. We’re more alike than either of us is willing to admit. He’s comfortable with me, which you can see, and I'm comfortable around him. He hasn’t hit on me or flirted with me and if he has he’s done a piss poor job of it,” Lucy chuckled.

“Do you _want_ him to flirt with you?”

Lucy had to think over that for a second. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t attracted to Adam. Not just physically but to his insane personality. She even found his temper tantrums appealing sometimes. But his relationship with Hannah complicated things.

“I don’t know. If Hannah wasn’t in the picture and if I wasn’t friends with her friends, kinda, probably. If I didn’t live in the same building as his ex, then yeah. But I am and I do and it would just be really messy. I try and avoid situations like that as much as possible.”

They heads both turned towards the bathroom when they heard Adam turn the water off. 

“And I don’t know how long I’ll be in New York. I’m not even sure how long Laird is going to be gone for. I don’t want to...commit...to anything when I don’t even know what I’ll be doing before the year is up,” Lucy whispered. 

“Ya I understand. Just...don’t...don’t pass anything up because of Hannah or anyone else. They’ll get over it and if they don’t...well...fuck em’,” she shrugged while whispering back.

“They’re your friends too. You’ve known them forever and you can honestly say you wouldn’t look down on me for it?” 

“He’s not my ex and you’re not really friends with any of them. Aside for me of course,” she smirked and Lucy rolled her eyes.

“Back to what I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted. You’re going to the party and if you don’t I’ll personally point out to Ray that you’re not there if he doesn’t notice himself.”

“What party?”

Jessa smiled at Lucy. She purposely stopped whispering when she said that, knowing Adam would hear and want to know more.

“Hello to you too Adam.”

He ignored her as he walked to the fridge and pulled out the milk.

“Marnie is having a get together of sorts for Ray. I was just telling Lucy you should be her date to the party.”

Adam kept his back to them as he poured his milk. He was standing in the kitchen in nothing but a pair of low hanging jeans. Lucy couldn’t help but notice the muscles in his back appeared to have grown. In fact, his entire body seemed to have bulked up now that she was paying attention. She glanced at Jessa and noticed she was also admiring the view. When he turned around the two girl’s quickly averted their eyes. Glancing at each other and smiling.

“Okay I’ll go.”

“What?” Lucy and Jessa both said at the same time. Jessa was hoping he’d say yes just for the entertainment value but she hadn't expected him to go without a fight. He looked at them both as he drank his milk. 

“It’s at a bar full of people you don’t like including your ex and you want to go?” Lucy asked as she narrowed her eyes at him, suspicious of his ulterior motives.

“Do _you_ want to go?” 

“Honestly? No. But Jessa’s right. Ray will probably wanna know why I didn’t go so I’ll have to stop by at least to congratulate him.”

“Do you want me to go?”

“If you’re comfortable and won’t be miserable then yes. But if you’re going to be cranky and uncomfortable then no. It’s up to you.”

“So you _are_ going to go?”

“Yes Adam I’m going.”

“Okay, I’ll go if you’re going.”

He finished his milk, set the glass in the sink, and sat on the couch to turn on the TV. Once he had their back to them, Jessa smiled and dramatically winked at Lucy before grabbing her things to leave.

She gave Lucy a hug and whispered in her ear. "He wants your snatch." Jessa chuckled and kissed her on the cheek before letting herself out.

Lucy has never had such affectionate friends before, except Zoe at times. Part of her hated it but once she was close enough to them she noticed she didn’t mind as much. 

* * *

The night of Rays party seemed to creep up on her faster than Lucy had anticipated. Jessa was right, as soon as he saw her next he made sure she knew about it and asked if she was coming. He followed that question up with “Is Adam coming with you?”

She couldn’t remember the last time she spoke to someone where his name didn’t come up. She didn’t remember him being mentioned nearly as much when Hannah was dating him either. She supposed if they didn’t all run in the same circles it probably wouldn’t be as noticeable. 

When Adam let himself into her apartment Lucy was still in her room getting dressed. He was wearing a rather tight black v neck shirt and jeans. Being this was the first social outing that wasn’t in someone’s apartment since arriving in New York, she had no idea what to wear or what to expect. 

“Hey kid, I was thinking-”

“Oh shit. Does it hurt?”

“Fuck off. Do you think it’s a good idea to bring Jax? I know you don’t go anywhere without him but it’s going to be a crowded bar.”

The rustling in her room stops and the room goes quiet. When she didn’t say anything he started to think he may have upset her.

“I was thinking the same thing but I never go anywhere without him. It makes me a little nervous to be honest,” she began to move around her room again.

“I’ll keep an eye on you,” he said and heard her pause once more.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel obligated to babysit me.”

“You’re the only reason I’m even going to this stupid shit anyways.”

“Do not start complaining already! I am not forcing you to go.”

“UGHHH lets gooooo!” he whined.

“Okay okay fuck alright I’m ready,” Lucy grumbled as she hopped on one leg and zipped up the sandal on the other. 

She had settled for a pair of naturally ripped skinny jeans, black strapped sandals, and a form fitting black tank top. She had her down in loose waves that hung around her shoulders. Her make up was dark and accentuated the bit of green in the brown of her eyes. It was the first time Adam had seen her with her hair down and dressed in anything other than shorts and a t-shirt with a movie or comic book character on it. He knew he was openly gawking but he couldn’t stop himself. Lucy wasn’t paying enough attention to notice. 

She stood in front of Jax staring down at him and biting her thumbnail as she debated on whether or not she should go out without him. After a moment of quiet deliberation she turned the TV on to the Disney channel and turned the volume down low.

“What are you doing?”

“Leaving the TV on for him so he does get lonely,” Lucy said as if it was obvious. 

“What?” He looked at her with disbelief. 

“Don’t look at me like that. Let’s get this over with.”

She opened the door and walked out into the hallway. Adam closed and locked the door behind them.

“Don’t you need your bag?”

“No. I mainly take that with me to hold his leash. My phone case has a slot for my ID and debit card. We both have a house key. Everything I need is here,” she tapped her ass dramatically. Her phone and keys were stuffed into her back pockets. She expected him to respond with a perverted or sarcastic comment so she was surprised when he merely chuckled. 

* * *

There were more people at the bar than she had expected. She had only seen the same group of people in the last month she had been in New York. Which is why she hasn't really considered the possibility that Ray might have friends outside of the small group of people she saw regularly.

As Lucy expected, when Lucy and Adam walked into the bar together, Hannah whispered something to Marnie and the two glanced over in their direction. It didn’t escape their notice that Adam had his hand placed on the small of her back the moment they entered the bar. Jessa sat up on her stool and waved excitedly at her, gesturing for her to go sit with them. Thankfully, Ray saw the interaction and intercepted them.

“Hey Lucy thanks for coming! Hey Adam,” Ray stuck his hand out and Adam politely shook it. 

“Congratulations on whatever it is you did,” Adam said as he looked around the bar. “Be right back.”

Lucy tried not to be anxious when he left her side. She’s had a seizure twice in public and it was not only terrifying, but embarrassing. It’s one reason she felt so safe having Jax with her. He would warn which gave her ample time to ensure she didn’t make a scene. Adam wouldn’t know ahead of time but either way, he was doing a piss poor job at being a service dog so far. 

“Where’s Jax? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without him,” Ray asked.

“I didn’t think this would be a great place to bring him to. Adam volunteered to babysit me but so far he’s only going to get a one star review.”

Ray glanced around to see if he could spot Adam but he was nowhere in sight. 

“What the hell? He shouldn’t be leaving you here then. What an asshole. I’ll stay with you."

“No, I’ll find him. This is your party and I forbid you to hang out with me the entire time just because you feel obligated.”

“But I-“

“No buts! Go socialize. I’ll find you later,” Lucy said with finality.

“Okay fine but if you start feeling funny come get me,” Ray said with a frown. Moments later Shoshanna whisked him away before he could object further.

Just to stop Jessa from making a scene, Lucy made her way over to the table she was sitting at with Marnie, Charlie, and Hannah. Jessa pulled out the tall barstool for her as she approached.

“Hey girl,” Jessa said as she leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

“Hi guys,” Lucy said with a smile to Marnie and Hannah.

“Oh hi Lucy! I didn’t think you’d show up!” Marnie said with a fake smile.

“I hadn’t planned on it but Jessa and Ray insisted.”

When Lucy glanced around the bar for Adam, she saw the look Hannah and Marnie exchanged with Jessa.

“If you’re looking for Adam I’d keep your eye on the bar,” Hannah said loudly. 

“Huh?”

“He’s a recovering alcoholic. AA meetings and everything. A bar is probably not the best place for him to be,” Hannah giggled. She was either drunk or heading there quickly. Lucy couldn’t help but frown. Adam hadn't told her that but she never pried. He had said he didn’t drink but neither did she so she left it at that. 

“He didn’t tell you that?” Hannah smiled.

“It’s none of my business. He doesn’t have to tell me anything he doesn’t want to. We’re just friends.”

“Right,” Hannah scoffed.

“I don’t care whether you believe me or not,” Lucy started to say louder than intended. Adam approached her from behind just as she started to rant.

“Whether or not we are 'together’ is our business, even though we aren’t. I don’t care if he _was_ an alcoholic or if he’s in AA. If he wants to tell me about it he can and he knows I’m always willing to listen or help when I can. That’s his story to share, not yours. I’m sorry your life is so fucking boring that you have to meddle in everyone else’s just so you have something interesting to write about for once. Now, If you’ll excuse me. I need a drink.”

Lucy was about to hop off of her stool when a very muscular arm reached over her shoulder and set a coke down in front of her. She glanced over her shoulder to see Adam standing there with a drink in his hand. She wasn’t sure how much of her little rant he had heard but she could tell he was irritated. 

“Thanks,” Lucy smirked.

“No problem kid,” he said as he stared at her rather intensely.

The girls at the table had gone silent. Whether it was because Adam showed up or because of Lucy’s rant, she wasn’t sure and she really didn’t care. 

“Well this is fucking awkward,” Jessa said while side eyeing Lucy. “Let’s dance.”

She quickly hopped off her stool, grabbed Lucy's hand, and drug her onto the dance floor before she could protest. Jessa wasted no time as she started grinding and dancing on Lucy while the music blasted over the speakers.

“You’re insane and you’re enjoying the tension way too much!” Lucy shouted into Jessa’s ear when she leaned her back into her chest and slowly rubbed her ass down Lucy’s front. Once near the ground she rolled her hips and swayed to the side until she was standing straight up again.

“Maybe just a little,” Jessa smiled.

Before the start of the next song the dance floor was half full. A good looking blonde man caught Jessa’s attention and she quickly gravitated towards him. Before Lucy could leave the dance floor a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist and drug her backwards. She gasped and unintentionally let out an unflattering “EEK” sound. Had she not recognized his cologne she would have started throwing punches. 

“Adam what the fuck!” She put her hands over her heart and glared at him.

“You’ll dance with Jessa and not me,” he stuck out his very plump and perfect lip to pout.

“I didn’t know it was you at first. You were this close to getting kneed in the balls,” she gestured with her fingers.

“Fuck, I love it when you talk dirty." He smiled and grabbed one of her hands to pull her closer to him.

“Pervert. If you didn’t notice I wasn’t dancing. Jessa was dancing. I was standing still while she used me as a pole.”

“That’s not what I saw,” he said with a smile before twirling her in a circle.

Lucy started to laugh at how random and out of place he was. Especially since he was taller than almost everyone in the bar. She couldn’t tell whether he was purposely dancing like an idiot or if it was really how he danced but either way, he was making a fool of himself and he didn’t give a shit who saw. 

* * *

Later in the evening most of the people Ray was familiar with had left and more bar patrons off the street trickled in. It was close to one in the morning when Lucy and Adam decided to leave, forcing a very intoxicated Jessa to come with them. 

“I’m gonna go take a piss, then we leave?” Adam said it as if it was a question but walked away before she could respond. Jessa was still standing, barely, with her arm draped around Lucy’s shoulders.

“Can I get two bottles of water please?” The bartender politely grabbed the water bottles and left to close out her tab. Two men approached Lucy and Jessa, one man to the left of where they were standing, and one to the right.

“Hey beautiful. Can I buy you and your pretty friend here a drink?”

“As you can see she’s had plenty to drink,” Lucy said with a fake smile.

The man to their left eyeballed Jessa and reached over to slide a stray strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Hey! Don’t touch her asshole!”

The guy to their right began to laugh loudly. “Yeah your friend is trashed but you’re not. What’s your drink of choice?”

Right then the bartender handed her the bottles of water she had asked for and slid her a receipt to sign.

“My drink of choice is right here,” Lucy gestured towards the water. She shuffled Jessa to one side and struggled to sign the receipt without dropping her.

Suddenly she felt Jessa’s weight on her shoulder lighten a little. The man to her left had begun to pick her up. Infuriated, Lucy yanked Jessa away from the heavily intoxicated man and shoved him backwards off his stool with her free arm.

“I told you not to touch her asshole!” 

She felt a hand grip her shoulder from behind and she knew immediately it was the other mans friend. Lucy was too mad and preoccupied with keeping Jessa standing to take the time to look around for anyone she knew. When she felt the man's bare skin touch her arm she reacted instinctively. She forcefully shoved her elbow back and up, hitting the man directly in the nose.

By this time people were starting to stare. The bartender was yelling at the two men to get out but they either didn’t listen or ignored him.

“You little bitch how dare-“

The fist to his face effectively cut the man off. Lucy quickly jerked her head towards Adam, surprised. Ray saw and ran over to break up the fight that was now taking place. Chaos broke out around them. The bartender yelled and Jessa woke up enough to cheer. Marnie screamed and Hannah whined. 

It was complete chaos until flashing red and blue lights filled the bar. Adam grabbed Jessa and tossed her to Ray as if she was a child. Remarkably, he caught her without falling down.

“Make sure she gets home!” Adam called out as he rushed Lucy towards the back door.

“What the fuck? Where are you going?” Ray yelled.

“She started the fight. They’ll want to talk to her,” he yelled to Ray over his shoulder. Lucy started to protest but Adam ignored her, threw her over his shoulder, and forcefully carried her out of the bar. Before they left she called out to Ray, “Sorry! I had a great time! Congratulations!”

* * *

Lucy assumed Adam would set her down once they were a good distance away from the bar, but he didn’t. He casually walked down the street with her thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. His hands were conveniently placed on the back of her thighs.

“So. Is this why you don’t leave the house? Because you get into bar fights?”

“Tch. No. It’s because I don’t like people. They suck if you haven’t noticed.”

“Where did you learn to fight?”

“Here and there,” Lucy said vaguely. “I don’t really know how to fight per-say. I know how to throw a punch and how to react when someone I don’t know touches me.”

“I got hard just watching you,” he said as he slapped her on the ass. She punched him in the kidney, making one of his knees buckle. He mumbled a barely audible "shit" which made he laugh.

“Why didn’t you hit me then when I grabbed you from behind at the bar?”

“Because I knew it was you.”

“How?”

“I dunno. I just did,” she said casually, hoping he would drop the subject which he did. 

They continued in silence for a bit. Every now and then Adam would purposely jump or skip just to toss her around but refused to set her down.

“Don’t you want to know where I went when we first got to the bar? I know Hannah told you about AA.” He was trying to make light of the topic to mask how serious it actually was. 

“Yes, she did tell me but she shouldn't have. It's not her story to tell. it doesn't bother me that you didn't tell me either. I'm not going to force you to tell me anything you're not comfortable with. And no, I'm not going to ask where you were because I trust you enough to know you wouldn’t do anything shady when you're supposed to be my wing man and that includes drinking and ruining your sobriety.” 

When Adam stayed quiet, Lucy decided to keep talking while they were still on the topic.

“I’ve purposely stayed away from anything I may get addicted to because I know myself well enough to know I’d get hooked on whatever it is. I’m too weak for that shit so I can’t say I understand what it’s like to be an addict but...If you ever need help or anything...I’m here and I’ll help however I can.”

Lucy straightened up and looked down at Adam as best as she could in the position he held her in. He was still holding on to her by the top of her thighs which made her tower over him. He stopped walking as he digested everything she just said. When she looked down at him, they made eye contact for several seconds before Lucy started laughing, completely ruining the moment.

“What?” Adam yelled.

He wince when she cupped his cheek.

“Ow! Tha fuck?”

“I totally forgot you got punched in the face,” she laughed. 

He frowned and lifted her legs up, forcing her to scream as she fall back over his shoulder.

* * *

Adam set her down once they got to her apartment and threw himself on her couch. Lucy went to the freezer and grabbed an ice pack and tossed it to him.

“Why do I need this?”

“Your face”

“Is devilishly handsome.”

“While I don’t disagree, your cheek is turning purple. If you’re going to go to the audition I signed you up for it’s probably best you don’t look like you got into a bar fight, even though you did.”

She turned and went into her room to change her clothes. She silently counted to ten, wondering how long it would take for Adam to realize what she had said. 

Five. She got to five.

“What? Audition? What audition?” He asked as he hopped off the couch, ice pack in hand. She had the foresight to lock her door which she was thankful for the moment he started jiggling the handle.

“I was out with Jax the other day and I saw a flyer for some play that’s looking for actors. I asked about it and they said I had to set a time for you to go audition. So I set it for next week. I’ll text you all the info.”

“Do you even know what the play is about or what it pays? How do you even know I have any interest in being in a play?”

She couldn’t tell if he was excited and trying to hide it or if he was irritated.

“No idea what it’s about. I got a real ‘Christmas Carol’ vibe based on what I saw though. I didn’t know if you had any interest in being in a play but I DO know you want to act but haven’t had any luck finding any work.”

When she opened the door she was in sleep shorts and her hoodie with her hair pulled up and away from her neck. “If you don’t want to do it then don’t,” she shrugged. “It’s your call. I saw the opportunity so I took it. What you do with it from here on is up to you.”

He searched her face while standing in front of her, blocking the doorway. 

“What?”

He swallowed and took a step closer to her. She raised an eyebrow and looked at him curiously when he closed the gap in between them.

“I-” A knock at the door interrupted him.

“FUCK!” He yelled and marched over to the door. When he yanked it open, Ray was standing there holding Jessa. She was still trashed but seemed to have sobered up a bit.

“What?” Adam yelled at them.

“Don’t be a dick Adam,” Lucy said as she came up behind him.

“Are you guys okay? Come in.”

She pushed Adam away from the door so they could enter the apartment. 

“I told you to make sure she got home not to bring her here,” Adam said with his arms crossed.

“You mean when you literally threw her at me and ran?”

“Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy,” Jessa repeated as she removed herself from Ray and wrapped her arms around her. 

“Were you guys fucking? Did we interrupt? Oh my god I’m so sorry,” she jutted her lip out to pout.

“No Jess we weren’t,” Lucy chuckled as she escorted her to the couch. 

“She’s been staying with Sosh and I couldn’t find her and she’s not answering her phone so I had no way of getting her to her place. I don’t even know where she lives.”

“It’s fine Ray, Really.” She pushed Jessa onto the couch and grabbed her a glass of water. Adam sat at the kitchen table scowling. Lucy scowled back at him until he turned away.

“Do you want to crash here? It’s late. One of you can get Laird’s room or both of you if you’re comfortable. I got him a new bed that has yet to be slept in. There’s the couch too,” Lucy said while grabbing extra pillows and blankets out of the closet.

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah I don’t mind. Adam you can stay too if you want,” she said as she sat the extra blankets on the couch next to Jessa.

“Okay,” he stood and walked to her bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Jessa was snoring on the couch within minutes. Lucy set a glass of water, Tylenol, and a bucket on the table next to her before turning to Ray. 

“Since you’re the dude I’d have told you to take the couch but she’s not moving so you get the bed.” Lucy sighed and stared at Jessa who was now drooling.

“So uh...Adam staying over...and in your room. Is that a new thing?” Ray whispered. 

“Smooth Ray. Yes, tonight would be the first night he’s staying here,” Lucy whispered back. 

“If you want he can take the room and I can sleep on the floor. If that will make you more comfortable.”

“Nah, it’s fine. If he wanted to get handsy he would have done it by now. He wouldn’t wait until a bunch of people were over.”

“Alright. Thanks again for letting us stay,” Ray said as he walked to Laird’s room.

“I expect coffee in the morning,” Lucy said over her shoulder before walking into her bedroom and closing the door.

As expected, Adam had already made himself comfortable in her bed and his clothes were tossed randomly around her room. 

“Ground rules,” Lucy said with her arms crossed at the end of the bed.

Adam stayed quiet. At first she thought he was feigning sleep but when she got closer to him she realized he was passed out already. 

Lucy sighed and crawled into bed next to him. His hair was draped across his face and would flutter every time he exhaled. Gently she tucked his hair behind his ear and frowned when she saw the bruise on his cheekbone. She leaned over, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and rolled over towards the edge of the bed. Within minutes she was asleep.

* * *

First thing Lucy noticed before she even opened her eyes was an arm around her waist. The next thing she noticed was someone breathing on her neck. Without hesitation she gasped, flung herself out of bed, and scrambled backwards until her back was against the wall. Adam sat up quickly with a look of concern on his face when he saw how distressed she was. Her eyes were wide and she gasped for air. 

“Woah kid it’s just me,” he said with his hands raised, slowly sliding off the bed.

“Breathe,” he said as he knelt down in front of her, hesitantly placing his hands on her shoulders. “Look at me, breathe kid.

She nodded and took deep breaths in and out with tears in her eyes. 

“Do you want me to leave?”

She quickly shook her head no. Once her breathing evened out she leaned forward and threw her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. He hugged her back tightly and rubbed small circles on her back until she stopped sniffling. Lucy let go of his shoulders and pulled away until she was sitting down in front of him with her legs crossed. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

“For what?”

“Freaking out. I’m not used to sleeping with anyone aside for Jax. I forgot you had stayed last night. I panicked,” she mumbled.

Without saying a word he brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Don’t apologize to me or anyone,” he said with a frown. 

Jessa opened the door a moment later. “I feel like my head is literally going to explode,” she said as she threw herself onto Lucy’s bed. Adam growled, stood up, grabbed his clothes, and went to the bathroom.

“What’s his problem?”

When Lucy didn’t answer, Jessa lifted her head to look at her. She noticed Lucy’s eyes were swollen and she was sitting on the floor against the wall.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“I forgot he was in bed with me and I freaked out a little. He was trying to calm me down,” Lucy said as she ran her hands through her hair.

“Based on his attitude I’m guessing he didn’t get his dick wet last night,” she chuckled and laid back down. “The bed doesn’t smell like sex either,” she said as she sniffed the sheets.

“You’re fucking disgusting you know that,” Lucy said while smiling as she stood up and sat on the bed next to her.

“Brunch?” Jessa asked.

“Sure.”


	4. Friendly Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mentioned it before but just in case:
> 
> This story is going to loosely follow the events that took place in the show if you haven't noticed.

When the time came for Adam’s audition, he tried to act like he didn’t care whether or not he got the part but Lucy knew him well enough to know that he was actually nervous. When he entered her apartment the morning of his audition, she was on the phone with Zoe in her bedroom. The phone was on speaker which meant it wasn’t hard for to hear the conversation.

“So when are you coming home? Ya know, your home here...in Arizona...where I am...where all your stuff is.”

Adam closed the door quietly, wanting to hear her answer. He frequently forgot she didn't actually live in New York. Although Lucy didn’t seem to like it back there, it was still her home and she hadn’t mentioned whether or not she had even thought about staying in New York permanently.

“I’m not sure. Laird keeps extending his stay at the treatment center, which is obviously fine with me. I’m not in any rush to go back necessarily and it sounds like he’s actually having a good time while he's getting help.”

“But you _are_ coming back right?”

“Yes...ugh I don’t know. Here I have Laird, there I have you. To be honest, I don’t really feel like I have an actual home. I love Laird’s apartment but at the end of the day it’s not _mine_ it’s his. Grams house is no longer mine thanks to my mom. I feel like I’m in limbo, as emo as that sounds.”

“You do sound pretty damn emo and you’re wrong but I get why you would feel that way. So you aren’t going to stay in New York once Laird is back?”

“No, I don’t think so. I have no reason to stay.”

Before Lucy realized he was there, Adam quietly left the apartment, not bothering to stay to hear the rest of the conversation.

“What about Adam?”

“What about him?”

“I know you have feelings for him so don't play dumb. Can you honestly say you’d be cool leaving and not seeing him again?”

“I’d have to come back to visit Laird. He-”

“So you’d be okay seeing him maybe in a year or so?”

“...”

Zoe laughed at Lucy's silence.

“I can’t stay here just for him. We aren’t even together. We just...like spending time together. I don’t even know what he does when he’s not here. He could have a girlfriend for all I know. He flirts with me but he’s never actually made a move. Plus, the first time we met was an hour before his girlfriend dumped him. I’m not sure how long they were together but it was long enough that he was upset when she left him. It's obvious he’s still a little salty about it, you can tell by the look on his face whenever he sees her. I don’t know if it’s wise to hop into a relationship with him right now. I've noticed he flirts with me a lot more if Hannah or her friends are around too. I know he’s my friend but I don’t know if he's flirting with me because he likes me or to make her jealous. Right now we are just friends and I’m not going to move to New York permanently for something that’s not even officially a thing,” Lucy huffed.

“So what you’re saying is you’re in love with him?’

“For fuck sake. Bye!”

“Love you!!” Zoe yelled before Lucy hung up on her.

* * *

Lucy was surprised when Adam didn't stop by her apartment before his audition like he said he would. Figuring he’d contact her afterwards, she didn't bother calling or texting him. When she still hadn't heard from him in the evening she tried to call and text him but she didn't get a response and it was making her anxious. She wasn't one to make impromptu visits but she was worried and decided to stop by his apartment for her own peace of mind. 

When there was no answer when she knocked, she waited a few minutes before turning to leave. As she was walking down the stairs, Hannah and Adam walked into the apartment building, arm in arm. Adam looked bored and/or irritated until he saw her. He schooled his features so he looked more indifferent than anything. Hannah however, looked smug as ever.

“Hey Lucy what are you doing here?” Hannah asked innocently. It didn’t slip Lucy’s notice when she hugged his arm a bit tighter.

“I knew Adam had an audition today and I hadn’t heard from him. I wanted to make sure he was okay,” she said as she turned her attention to Adam who was avoiding eye contact with her.

“Yeah he’s great! He got the part! We were just celebrating,” Hannah said with a smile.

Lucy didn’t want to give Hannah the pleasure of knowing she was getting to her. The urge to punch Adam in the throat intensified with each second he avoided her eyes. Instead of making any confrontational comments or lunging at either one of them, she took a deep breath, and smiled as brightly as possible.

“That’s great! I knew you could do it!” she said to Adam. “Well, I’m glad you’re okay and congrats on the audition. Enjoy you’re night,” she smiled again and walked around them to exit the building.

* * *

Lucy didn’t hear from Adam for two weeks. She wasn’t the type to sit around and mope over a guy, so she didn’t. She went about her days like she had before Adam’s encounter with the cops. Even though Jessa didn’t ask, she told her Hannah and Adam were somewhat dating again. That information told her what she had suspected for a while, he was only flirting with her to make Hannah jealous. 

She did like him, and she wasn’t going to deny it anymore. They weren’t dating or having sex so she shouldn't be bothered by him rekindling things with Hannah. After all, she did tell him if he wanted to get back with her she would support it. If he wanted to date Hannah again that was fine. She had no right to complain, unless she admitted she wanted to date him herself. Lucy wasn’t sure he was ready to move on and he confirmed that for her. The abruptness of his mood change and the way he practically dismissed her is what bothered her the most, especially after she got him the part in the play.

On one of her coffee runs she met Dean. He currently helped run a new tech startup in Manhattan and happened to stop at Ray's on his way there. In more ways than one, he was the exact opposite of the guys she had dated in the past. When she met him he was dressed in tight black pants with a dark grey button up shirt, rolled at the sleeves. His black tie was loosely hanging around his neck. He had dirty blonde hair cut as if he was in the 50's and parted to one side. The black framed glasses he wore accentuated the green of his eyes. He was polite, outspoken, and made her laugh within the first fifteen minutes of meeting. 

After asking for her number and parting ways, they texted back and forth daily until he built up the courage to ask her out on a date. He was nice and he made her laugh but he was the exact opposite of her and also, Adam. She hated herself for comparing the two but it was hard not to after spending so much time with him. Lucy liked him enough to go out to dinner with him occasionally but she couldn’t picture herself actually dating him monogamously. He seemed perfect and she was anything but. She tried to envision them together long term but she couldn't see herself with someone that wasn't at least a little bit damaged the way she was.

* * *

Opening night of Adam’s play was a lot sooner than she had expected. Ray, Jessa, and the rest of their gang were going but she had told them she would pass. He still hadn’t spoken to her and she wasn’t about to invite herself so she made up an excuse by saying she didn’t feel well. Once she was sure they had all left she took an Uber to where the play was being held. She had been to the building when she signed Adam up for his audition and knew her way around.

As the show was starting, she managed to sneak in through a side door, assuming that part of the building would be relatively clear. A young usher noticed the door open and asked her to leave once he realized she didn't have a ticket. Thankfully she had forgotten to pay Laird's rent and had cash on her. After successfully bribing the usher, he lead her to a hidden staircase on the far side of the stage, usually reserved for stage hands. At the top of the stairs was a walkway used to adjust the stage lighting. The kid assured her it was safe and that no one would find her. She was terrified of heights and did her best not to look down which wasn't hard once she saw Adam on the stage.

Lucy hadn't seen him act since it was his first gig since she had come to New York. He was so intense and determined in everything he did that she had no doubt he was great at it but she hadn’t realized just how great. Before the show ended she carefully got up and made her way to the exit, ensuring no one would realize she was there. But Adam saw the movement out of the corner of his eye and watched as she left with Jax close behind her.

* * *

A few nights later Dean was supposed to pick Lucy up at her apartment around eight. While getting ready, she heard her front door unlock, open, then close. Only one other person aside for Laird had a key so it wasn’t hard to figure out who it was.

“Where are you going?” Adam asked, looking her up and down.

“Out.”

“Out where?”

“Why does it matter?”

“It just fucking does.”

“I have a date.”

“A date? With who?”

“What the fuck Adam why are you interrogating me?”

“Since when do you date?” he asked, evading her question.

“Since someone showed interest in me!” Adam paused and chewed the inside of his cheek.

“Who is he? Where did you meet him?”

“I haven’t heard from you in weeks. You don’t get to show up just to question me.”

“Where did you meet him?” he asked again.

“At Ray's, not that it’s any of your business.”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I don’t really care Adam I’m going,” Lucy said while she put on her boots.

Following her out of her room he groaned and ran his hands through his hair.

“Why are you even here? Don’t you have something to do with Hannah? Does she know you’re down here interrogating me?”

“So that’s what this is fucking about? I start seeing Hannah again so you start dating some guy?” he scoffed.

“Excuse me,” Lucy laughed sarcastically. “You want to go back to Hannah? That’s fine. We weren’t and aren’t dating. Who you fuck is your business. What ‘this is about’ is the fact that I got you the audition, I helped you recite your lines, and you couldn’t be bothered to tell me you got the part? Radio silence the entire day. The only way I knew something bad hadn’t happen to you was because I went to your apartment. You don’t talk to me for weeks and you didn’t invite me to the play. Then you have the balls to show up out of the blue and question me? Fuck off and get out.”

“No. I’m not fucking leaving. Not until I talk to you.”

There was a knock on the door but Adam got to it before she could answer it. 

“What?” he yelled. 

Dean stood there looking between Lucy and Adam, not expecting that sort of greeting but also suspicious having heard the yelling from the hallway.

“Who the fuck are you?” Adam snapped.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Dean replied.

Lucy stepped in between the two before they continued their conversation. Dean was more laid back but Adam’s temper could quickly escalate and she had no desire to deal with male bravado.

“Dean this is Adam. Adam this is Dean. Let's go Dean. Adam, lock the door on your way out.” Lucy grabbed Dean by the arm and pulled him away from her apartment.

“What the fuck? What about Jax?” Adam yelled.

“She won’t be alone tonight,” Dean said before exiting the building. 

Lucy cringed at the comment. She wasn’t sure if he had purposely said it so suggestively or not but she wasn’t surprised when she heard yelling and glass shattering as they walked away from the apartment.

“I swear to fuck if he broke something again,” she mumbled.

“Again? Is he violent? You said he had a bad temper but I hadn’t expect him to be that bad and I definitely didn’t know he was violent”.

“Oh...no...he’s not violent. At least not with people unless he's provoked. He’s like a kid. He tends to throw tantrums when he’s really upset. Ya know, punch holes in the walls, break stuff, things like that.”

“That’s really unhealthy. I don’t think you should be brushing that off. It’s a big deal. He could easily turn that anger on you.”

"It's unhealthy but he’s gotten better since I first met him. He’s only punched the wall once since then I think. I’m brushing it off because it’s not a big deal to me. I know he would never hurt me. He’d sooner hurt himself than me.”

“That’s equally unhealthy,” Dean scoffed.

“If you want to talk about how unhealthy he is we can go back and the two of you can sit down and have a heart to heart,” Lucy snapped.

“Woah sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. He just seems a little...off,” he said with his hands raised as if surrendering.

“He’s a weirdo yes. Now if you still want to go to the movies I suggest you change the subject.”

“Deal.”

When Dean dropped her off at home later that night, she was somewhat disappointed to see Adam had left. She wanted him to come clean and tell her why who she dated bothered him so damn much, and to ask him why he had been ignoring her. 

Another week went by without any word with Adam.

* * *

Lucy had started to get used to, and sometimes even look forward to, Jessa randomly stopping by for one reason or another. Usually because she wanted her to accompany her somewhere but a lot of times just to hang out. She no longer asked about Adam and she rarely brought up her other friends, unless it was to complain about them. When she hadn’t heard from her in close to a week she started to worry. 

She tried calling and texting her but her phone continually went to voicemail and the texts went unread. She stopped by Shoshanna’s apartment to ask her if she had seen her but she said she hadn’t. Jessa wasn’t close with Marnie and Lucy had no intention of asking Hannah about her until they happened to cross paths on her way into the apartment building. She had no desire to talk to her, especially because Adam was with her, but she was really worried about Jessa. Swallowing her pride, she approached the seemingly happy couple.

“Hey um...have either one of you heard from Jessa lately?”

Adam stared at her but said nothing. 

“No I haven’t talked to her in a while. The only time I’ve seen her is when she's going in or out of your place and it’s been a while.”

Lucy looked down and frowned. 

“What about you? Have you seen or heard from Jessa at all?” Hannah asked Adam.

“I don’t fucking talk to her.”

“Okay well thanks guys,” Lucy said with a small smile before turning her back on them to unlock her apartment door.

“Did something happen?" Lucy heard Adam ask. She finished unlocking her door and let Jax in before turning to face him.

“It's been a few days since I last spoke with her. She’s been coming over a lot, usually at random times and without any warning. If she’s not here she randomly texts me or calls me even though she knows I hate talking on the phone. I haven’t seen or heard from her though. I’ve called and texted and she hasn’t responded and it’s been like a week since she last stopped by. I asked Soshanna and Ray but they haven’t heard from her either. I’m a little worried.”

Hannah scoffed. “Typical Jessa. She does this kind of thing all the time. She’ll hang around constantly then randomly without warning she’s gone. She’ll be back in a month with nowhere to go and she’ll have some crazy story about how she met some guy at a bar then flew to Italy and backpacked through the country barefoot or something. That’s just how Jessa is.”

“Right...okay well thanks. Have a good night guys,” Lucy said with a furrowed brow while looking at the ground. Hannah’s response didn’t make her feel any better. Even if it’s something Jessa had done in the past, possibly multiple times, she felt like this time was different. She glanced up at Adam, who was still staring at her. He opened his mouth to say something but before he could, Lucy shut the door.

As if Jessa sensed Lucy’s worry for her, she called her the next day from the rehab facility she was staying at.

“Lucy?”

“Jessa? What the hell? Where are you? Are you okay? If you’re in Italy backpacking barefoot with some dude you met at a bar I’m going to punch you in the tit.”

“Wha...what? No...not this time but I have done that before. Horrible guy. Whole thing was bloody awful.”

Lucy chuckled. “Okay that’s a story for another time obviously. Where are you and why haven’t you answered any of my calls?”

“I’m at a rehab facility across state.”

“What? Since when? Why so far away? Why didn’t you say anything to anyone?”

“It’s a long story. I need a ride home though. Do you think you could come get me?”

“Uhhh...I can’t drive but I’m sure I could talk Ray into taking me or something. Are you okay if he knows?”

“Yeah I don't give a shit. How soon can you get here?”

“Well. I’d need to rent a car for whoever is going to drive me after I figure out who that is exactly. How far is it from here?”

“...eight hours.”

“EIGHT HOURS! Jesus Christ Jessa!”

“Pleassssse...”

“Okay,” Lucy sighed. "I’ll figure something out. I’ll try and be there by tomorrow but I can’t promise anything. It really depends on the car situation and if I can convince someone to drive for me. If for some reason I can’t figure it out, I’ll find a way to get you home.”

“Okay hurry. I’m so sick of the bitches here. They’ve all got a huge stick up their asses,” Jessa said. Moments later Lucy could hear someone yelling in the background. Jessa pulled the phone away from her mouth slightly to yell at the other person. “Oh fuck off and fuck you. Prick!”

“Anyways try and hurry please,” Jessa said with her attention back to Lucy.

“Did you call Hannah or Marnie or Shoshanna to see if they can pick you up? I only ask because they might be able to get there faster than I can.”

“No, I didn't.”

“Why not?”

“Because they’re all extremely self centered. Even you know this and you’re not even friends with them. Plus, I’d probably get a lecture about relapsing or rehab in general. You remember how they told you Adam was in AA and used to have an alcohol problem. They said it as if it’s some dirty secret he should be ashamed of. I don’t need that shit right now.”

Lucy knew the reason Jessa most likely contacted her before her other friends but she wanted her to confirm her suspicions. For a while she had though Jessa may have been her friend as a way to get more information on her relationship with Adam so she could report back to Hannah. The more time they spent together the more she started to feel like Jessa may actually want to be her friend for no other reason than that. The fact that she trusted Lucy to help her over her other friends meant something.

“Alright. I’ll try and get there as soon as possible. If everything goes well I’ll be there tomorrow but I can’t guarantee it. Just know I’ll figure out a way to get you home okay?”

“Love you,” Jessa said with an audible smile on her face.

“Sure you do. Stay out of trouble, I'll see you soon.”

Lucy ended the call, sighed and looked at Jax. “Never a dull moment here huh?”

* * *

Knowing Ray would be working, Lucy grabbed her bag and walked over to the coffee shop as soon as she got off the phone with Jessa, calling rental car places on her way there. By the time she got there she had a rental car reserved for first thing in the morning. For once, Ray's was fairly quiet, giving her ample opportunity to try and persuade him to help her.

“Hey! Are you busy tomorrow morning? Like...early morning?” Lucy asked as Ray began to make her drink.

“Considering I am always here, probably...why?” he asked her suspiciously. “You very rarely ask to do shit with me. Shit that involves leaving your apartment I mean and you never ask to do something early in the morning so what the hell do you have planned? And why do I get the feeling whatever the hell it is I’m not going to like it?” 

Lucy tried her best to smile innocently but Ray wasn’t buying it.

“Spit it out already so I can tell you fuck no.”

“Fine, but hear me out first before you tell me to fuck off please,” Lucy said as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

He gestured for her to continue. She took a deep breath and explained the situation.

“Jessa is in rehab and needs a ride home. I’m legally not allowed to drive because of my stupid head. You’re the only one I feel comfortable asking to drive for me. I already got a rental car reserved. We’d have to get it in the morning, drive to Jessa, pick her up, then come home. It’s a bit of a drive though so it would be like a day trip. I’ll pay for everything and it'll be fun because it’s us on a road trip and I’ve never been anywhere out here as you know so we can have a little adventure and yeah,” Lucy blurted out so fast Ray almost didn’t understand what she said.

After staring at her for a moment he began to shake his head.

“Fuck that. Nope. Count me out.”

“But why!”

“First, I don’t even like Jessa. The only time we are ever in the same room is either because of you or her other friends and even then we don’t fucking speak to one another. Second, why would I voluntarily sit in a car for eight hours one way then another eight hours back when I don’t even like her?”

“You don’t _dislike_ her. You guys just aren’t close. And you’d voluntarily do it because I’m your friend and you’d be helping me out a lot by taking me. AND you’d voluntarily go because it’s me and I’m amazing and you know we’d have a great time together,” she smiled at him innocently.

“I work tomorrow,” he added.

“You don’t just work tomorrow, you work all of the time. Every day. Every night. When was the last day you had off? You’re the goddamn boss! You can take one day off to help a very close and dear friend of yours.”

“We’re short staffed,” he said as he helped a barista make an order for a customer.

“I’ll make you a deal. You do this for me and when we get back I’ll help out here until you can hire someone on permanently. You don’t even have to pay me.”

At that, Ray paused and looked at her. “You’d do that? Do you even have experience making coffee or with a register?”

“Wow, little offended but yes, I have experience with both. Only thing I would need help with is your recipes and stuff. I don’t know how to make macchiatos and stuff. I just know how to use your fancy machines.”

“I’d have to pay you. It’s illegal not to.”

“It’s only illegal if anyone finds out,” Lucy winked, "and I really don’t need the money.”

Hannah and Adam walked in before Ray could argue. It was as if they knew where she was and purposely ran into her. When she first moved in to Laird's she saw Hannah maybe once a week in passing. Ever since Adam had blown her off, Lucy saw the two of them at least two times a week and they were always together.

“For fuck sake,” she said under her breath. Ray heard her and glanced toward the door and waved.

“Is that still a thing?”

“Yes and no. I feel like they’re stalking me. I keep running into them and conveniently they’re always together.”

Hannah gestured for Ray to go talk to them.

“Can you please think it over at least? Let me know as soon as possible though. I guess I can ask Dean but I'd rather go with you to be honest. We might need to get a room overnight and I'm not sure I want to do that with him...yet."

“Fuck, fine I’ll think about it. I’ll let you know by the end of the day.”

“Thanks doll,” Lucy said as she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. Surprising both him and the two people watching them. “I’m going to pee. Don’t let anyone take my drink.”

While in the bathroom she heard muffled yelling coming from near the entrance. She quickly washed her hands and made her way out to see what the commotion was. Two women, a brunette and a blonde were standing in front of Adam and Hannah, yelling at them. When she got closer she realized they were actually only yelling at Adam while Hannah stood and watched. Apparently he slept with the brunette then ghosted her. The blonde wasn’t even involved she was just yelling for her friend’s sake.

Lucy was instantly pissed off. They were making a scene at Ray’s and saying a lot of shit about Adam. She knew he probably deserved it and what she was saying was partially true but there was no need to make a scene and air out someone else’s dirty laundry publicly. Hannah didn’t say a word as she stood and watched as the two woman berated him in front of her. Even though Lucy was still mad at him, even though they weren’t dating and weren’t even really friends anymore, that didn’t make it okay.

“Hey!” Lucy yelled as she approached them. The larger blonder woman was pointing her finger in Adam's face while she yelled at him.

She got in between Adam and the two girls and slapped the blonde girls hand out of his face.

“Hey what the hell!” the blonde yelled as she rubbed her hand.

“Who the hell are you?” the brunette angrily asked. “Are you another girl he's fucking?”

“Who I am is none of your damn business. What _is_ my business is you coming into my friends business, making a big fucking scene in front of all of his customers, and pointing your finger in my-" Lucy paused for a second, not sure what exactly Adam was to her at that point, "in my friends face like an asshole. Back off of him!”

“Do you even know what he did to her?” the blonde asked as she gestured to her friend.

“I heard part of what you said all the way in the bathroom with the door shut because your mouth is so damn big. I don’t care what he did. He’s an asshole and I’m sure he did a bunch of really nasty shit. I would honestly be more surprised if you said he didn’t. It sounds like you saw him multiple times so that’s on you for complaining once he tossed you aside and ghosted you. If you were as bothered as you’re saying you are, _you_ would have been the one to ghost _him_. So don’t come in here and try to make him look bad just because your fucking ego can’t handle it.”

“Oh so _you’re_ the girl he was trying to get over? I thought it was the frumpy girl behind him but seeing you...it makes more sense now,” the brown haired girl said with distaste as she glanced between Lucy and Hannah. 

“I’m not his girlfriend. She is,” Lucy gestured towards Hannah. “Don’t be a bitch to her just because he would rather be with her than you. That’s not her fault. She didn’t hit it and quit it. He did. You have no right to say shit to her. I don’t even like her much but even I’m above blaming her for shit he does.”

The brunette opened her mouth to say something but Lucy cut her off.

“No. Shut your mouth. No one wants to hear anything else you have to say.”

The blonde opened her mouth to say something next.

“And we _definitely_ don’t want to hear what _you_ have to say. He’s an asshole and a pervert but you guys are pathetic and immature. Everyone good? Nothing else to say? Great. Get the fuck out,” Lucy said with finality as she placed her hands on her hips.

Not only were Adam, Hannah, and the two annoying women silent, but the entire building was. Lucy was so mad she momentarily forgot they had an audience. She felt her cheeks start to warm with embarrassment but she stood her ground, glaring at the two women in front of her. Before either one of them tried to argue more, Ray started to slow clap behind the register. When his customers joined him, the two women left in a rush, embarrassed and angry. 

Lucy turned, grabbed her coffee, glared at Adam, and left.

The customers began to talk once the the yelling stopped. Hannah and Adam glanced at each other then at Ray.

“God damn,” Ray said with a shake of his head.

* * *

Later that evening Ray texted Lucy to say he would drive her the next day. After calling the rental car place and discussing the situation, they agreed to let him pick up the car even though she was the one renting it. Once the car was reserved and paid for, she texted Ray the info and asked that he pick her up bright and early, which he agreed to.

As she was packing a small bag to take with her, she heard yelling coming from the hallway outside of her apartment. She could tell who it was without even opening her door. Not wanting to be involved in another one of Adam and Hannah’s fights, she turned the lights off and muted the TV, hoping if he were to come to her door he would think she was gone or asleep.

Lucy knew he was walking towards her door because his voice was gradually getting louder as he argued with Hannah. To her surprise, he didn't knock and he didn’t try to open the door. Either he didn’t have the key to her apartment anymore or he didn’t have it with him. She could hear him hovering on the other side of the door for a few minutes after the yelling stopped. She wasn’t sure what he was doing or why he was hovering but she wasn’t going to initiate conversation, not right after he fought with Hannah, again. She stayed in the kitchen, near her door, until she finally heard him walk away.

The next morning Lucy received a text from Ray telling her to go outside because he was pulling up to her apartment building. She grabbed her overnight bag and quickly left her apartment with Jax. 

The SUV she had reserved was waiting at the curb for her but Ray wasn’t in the drivers seat.

Adam was.  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're still following this story yay and thanks! I will try to update it more frequently considering I have a lot of it written.


	5. Cold Shoulder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI this chapter is like... 90% dialogue because they're finally going to communicate like adults.

Lucy stood at the bottom of the apartment's steps, staring at the SUV as if her eyes were playing tricks on her. Adam hopped out of the driver side and walked around to the passenger side door. 

She didn’t miss the way Jax’s tail wagged slightly when he saw him. The only time Jax ever showed any sign he was happy to see someone was with her grams and Zoe, and now Adam apparently. If he wasn’t a dog she would have rolled her eyes at him.

The blessedly tight red shirt he was wearing was getting noticeably tighter whenever he wore it. Whatever he seemed to be doing when he worked out was definitely working. Every time she saw him he seemed to be bigger, thicker, more imposing. He shoved his ridiculously large hands into the pockets of his ridiculously tight jeans making her wonder how hands so big could fit into pockets so small. She chastised herself once she realized her train of thought was heading in the exact opposite way it should be going. Her irritation with him only grew as if it was his fault she found him attractive.

“What the hell? Where is Ray?” Lucy glared at him and crossed her arms.

“He told me you needed to go fuck knows where but can’t drive. I’m not doing shit today so,” he said as if it was obvious. 

He tried not to stare at her but it was the first time he was alone with her in weeks. The slightly over sized band shirt she was wearing hung off one shoulder and was tucked into the front of her skinny jeans. Her black vans were loosely tied and looked as if they would slip off her feet at any moment. Her long black hair was pulled up into a messy bun at the top of her head, giving him an unobstructed view of the neck he frequently thought about biting. 

She normally wore at least a light amount of makeup when leaving the apartment but she wasn’t wearing anything at all and he loved it that way. From the curb of the sidewalk he could see the freckles scattered across her cheeks from where she stood at the bottom of the steps. Her light brown eyes glared back at him with intensity and obvious irritation. At that moment he was seeing her in a whole new light and he had no idea why.

“Adam!” 

When he didn't say anything else, she snapped her fingers a few times to get his attention. He was silently staring at her for longer than most would consider polite and it was fueling her annoyance. He blinked a few times and shook his head as if trying to shake away his thoughts. Without saying a word, he took a step away from the car, removed his hands from his pockets, and opened the back passenger door.

“Let’s go Jax.”

“Ha! You know he won’t list-” Lucy paused mid sentence when Jax happily trotted over to Adam and jumped into the backseat.

“You traitor,” she yelled at Jax as Adam closed the door behind him and opened the passenger door for her.

“I fucking hate you both. Not Jax, even though he betrayed me. I hate you and I hate Ray.”

“Get in the car kid. You have eight hours to tell me how much you hate us.”

“Fuck my life,” Lucy mumbled

* * *

The first couple hours of the drive were awkwardly silent. Adam would make a comment here and there, trying to start a conversation with her but Lucy would ignore him. He’d ask her a question, and she’d give him a one word answer. He even yelled at a couple of cars in passing, thinking she would tell him to calm down, but she didn’t. Just as he was about to pull the car over and demand she talk to him, Lucy’s phone rang.

“Fuck,” Lucy mumbled when she realized Zoe was trying to Facetime her.

“Are you going to answer it?” Adam glanced from Lucy to her phone.

“I don’t want to talk to her right now.”

“She’s going to keep calling until you answer it.”

“Then I’ll keep ignoring her.” Lucy scowled at her phone as if she could somehow telepathically tell Zoe she’d call her back.

“Since when do you ignore her calls?”

“Since all she wants to talk about is- HEY!” Adam grabbed the phone out of her hand and accepted the call.

Zoe’s face appeared. “Hey sluttt-” Zoe drew out the ‘t’ but stopped once she realized Lucy wasn’t the person looking back at her. “Hey, you’re not my slut! Who are...Oooh you may not be _my_ slut, but you’re definitely a slut. Adam I presume?” she chuckled.

Adam glanced at Lucy and frowned. “Yes,” he said through gritted teeth. 

Adam hadn't seen Zoe before, just overheard conversations between her and Lucy. He hadn't thought about her much but he assumed she would look similar to Lucy but she didn't. She had long blonde hair pulled up into a high ponytail and was in nothing but a sports bra and leggings. She had a fair amount of make up on, unlike Lucy who rarely wore any and when she did it was light. Her septum was pierced and she had a small tattoo on her left shoulder. 

He kept his right hand firmly on the steering wheel while holding the phone in his left. He kept it at eye level away from his face so he could glance at it while also keeping his eyes on the road. It was angled so Lucy was barely out of the camera’s line of view.

“Since when do you have Lucy’s phone? Weren’t you two not on speaking terms? Whenever I ask about you she gets pissy and changes the subject. Now you have her phone? What did I miss?”

“You missed nothing! Stop talking to him! Give me my phone back asshole!” 

Lucy reached over and grabbed Adam’s forearm, trying to bring him closer to her so she could reach her phone but he jerked away from her roughly.

“What the fuck? Don’t fucking try and grab at the phone while I’m driving. Do you want us to fucking die?”

“We wouldn’t have this damn problem if you didn’t take shit that didn’t belong to you now would we? You shouldn’t be driving with a phone in your hand anyways so give it the fuck back!”

“Sounds like there’s still trouble in paradise,” Zoe laughed

“This is not paradise, this is hell. This asshole practically kidnapped me!”

“Kidnapped you? Really!? I held the fucking door open for you and you hopped into the car. That’s not how kidnapping works, kid.”

“You’re into that really kinky shit aren’t you?” Zoe giggled while staring back at Adam as the two continued to argue. She stopped cleaning her room so she could pay full attention to the drama unfolding in front of her. She had one elbow resting on her knee while sitting on her bed in front of her laptop.

“You weren’t even supposed to be here right now, Ray was! You’re both assholes and tricked me and now I’m stuck in a car with you for the next two days.”

“Oh shit! This is like the plot of a really fucked up rom com,” Zoe smirked and leaned closer to her laptop as if she would get a better view by doing so.

“How the fuck else am I supposed to get you to talk to me? We both know if I had called you or fucking...fucking typed out a message you would have ignored it. When I went over to your place and used the key you gave me you left with that blonde fuck. I showed up last night and when I stood outside your door you tried to make it seem like you weren’t home.”

Lucy’s eyes widened. She hadn’t expected Adam to be that observant.

“Yeah I’m not fucking stupid. I knew you were home last night and I know you heard me arguing with Hannah. You knew I was outside your door and you wanted me to think you weren’t home.”

“That _does_ sound like something you would do Lucy,” Zoe glanced over at Lucy who was now within the camera's line of sight. Lucy scowled at her before crossing her arms and turning away from them in favor of staring out the passenger side window.

“Why would I want to talk you? I don’t have anything to say to you! You’re an asshole and your girlfriend and all of her friends are all self centered bitches who think the world revolves around them. None of you know how to do anything for anyone else and when someone does something for you, you guys are ungrateful.”

“What?” Adam yelled confused. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head once, not understanding what she was saying. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye then back to the road several times.

“Don’t act stupid Adam. You know what the I’m talking about!”

“No I really fucking don’t and don’t lump me in with them. I’m not fucking like them.”

“You _do_ know what she’s talking about though,” Zoe whispered as if Lucy couldn’t hear her. 

“Shut up Zoe!” Lucy growled out.

“Cough-audition-cough,” Zoe stared back at him and pursed her lips together. 

“Pull over,” Lucy said quietly.

“What?” Adam snapped.

“I said pull the fuck over!” Lucy yelled.

“Fuck!” he growled as tossed Lucy’s phone on the floor at her feet. He angrily exited the highway and pulled into a small parking lot they were about to pass. In the center of the unpaved parking lot were four small shops, a bookstore, a vintage ice cream shop, an antique store, and a hardware store. She had no idea where they were but they were definitely far from the city. They were surrounded by trees on either side of the two lane highway they had been on. She had never seen so much green in her life and was annoyed with herself for not paying attention to their surroundings as they left the city.

There were four small shops in the center of the small parking area: a bookstore, a vintage ice cream shop, an antique store, and a hardware store. Lucy grabbed her phone off the floor and hopped out of the car the moment he put the car in park behind the building. Adam got out of the SUV and opened the back passenger door. “Go with her Jax!” he practically yelled. The moment the dog was out of the car he slammed the passenger door shut and stomped towards the line of trees surrounding the parking lot. Obediently, Jax jumped out the car and trotted towards Lucy's retreating form. 

“SO...that was interesting,” Zoe said cautiously. She could tell Lucy was pissed and didn’t want to be the one she turned her anger on.

In the distance Lucy heard Adam’s phone ring followed by a loud “FUCK!” and the sound of his ancient flip phone shattering against whatever he had thrown it at. Lucy sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Lucy frowned at her best friend and continued to walk away from the car.

“Not a goddamn word Zoe. I have like...five more hours in the car with him today." 

“Is there a reason you’ve trapped yourself in a car with him? You’re obviously still mad.”

Zoe leaned away from her laptop and grabbed a bottle of nail polish off of the nightstand next to her bed. She opened the bottle and started to paint her nails but paused when Lucy didn’t continue with her explanation. She gestured with her hand for Lucy to continue.

“It’s a really long story but to summarize,” Lucy paused and glanced behind her. She could no longer see Adam and his angry yells were fading more and more with each step.

“Jessa checked herself into a rehab center that’s eight hours away. Before you ask, I don't know why she checked herself into rehab and I have no idea why she chose one so far away. She asked me to come get her and you know I can’t drive. I wasn’t gonna leave her there so I asked Ray to drive me but he bailed without telling me and took the opportunity to force me to talk to Adam.”

“Man I really need to meet Ray. I feel like him and I have a lot to talk about.” Lucy scowled down at her phone as she rounded the building towards the front of the building.

“So uh...is he still dating Hannah?” Zoe asked without looking away from her nails.

“We haven't really talked since I got in the car and before that we only said a word or two in passing and Hannah was usually with him. I heard them arguing last night though. Coincidentally he’s back to acknowledging my existence this morning. They fight then he acts like my friend until they’re on good terms again. It seems like a pattern. So to answer your question, I don’t know but I assume no.”

“Damn, you should write a book or something. Your life is seriously like a Lifetime movie sometimes. The most interesting shit always happens to you,” she chuckled. 

“Glad my life is so entertaining you asshole,” Lucy huffed and paced in front of the small ice cream shop. Each shop looked like a small cottage on the outside, complete with a small porch. Without the signage they could easily pass as homes. Jax had given up following her and was merely sitting in the dirt, tracking her movement with his eyes.

Zoe glanced up from her nails momentarily before glancing back down. She didn't want to look Lucy in the eyes when she said what she was about to say. “I think you should hear him out and give him another chance.”

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!” Lucy yelled and abruptly stopped pacing. When Jax’s ears perked up she looked around to see if her outburst and drawn attention to herself.

“Shut up and listen to what I’m about to say,” Zoe said firmly while pointing the nail polish brush at the camera. Lucy pursed her lips together but nodded. She glanced away from her phone for and looked around the parking lot. An older woman was sitting on a rocking chair outside of the ice cream shop, knitting. Lucy smiled at her and gave her a small wave. She felt bad for cursing and yelling, not sure how long the old woman had been sitting there or how much she had overheard. The old woman smiled back at her before turning her attention back to her knitting needles.

"No offense doll but you have trouble getting close and opening up to people, which is understandable, all things considered. From what you've told me though from the start he's understood you which is something you're not used to. You said he’s constantly arguing with Hannah but the two of you never argued. At least you didn’t before he iced you out right?”

Lucy nodded but kept her mouth shut.

“Right. Completely out of the blue he starts to ignore you. Why would he stop talking to a friend for no reason? People ghost love interests all the time but have you ever heard of someone ghosting a friend?” 

“No but maybe I’ll be the first,” Lucy mumbled and looked away from her phone again. Zoe snorted and continued.

“I bet it’s because he saw you as more than a friend and something happened so he distanced himself from you. That’s what happens in all the rom com’s I’ve seen when the girl is in a similar situation as you.”

“Zoe I-” Lucy tried to interject.

“No shut up. I’m not done ranting about Adam!” Zoe yelled. 

After calming down, Adam walked in the direction Lucy had and was about to walk around the building when he heard Zoe practically yell his name. He paused around the corner, wanting to hear what she had to say.

“He was an out of work actor and hadn’t been able to find any work right? You got him an audition for a play, he got the part, and you were so excited! Even though he didn’t tell you he got the part, even though he didn’t invite you, you still went to see the play opening night. You’re scared of heights and you fucking paid someone like $300 to get you on some platform thing so you could watch him. Who does that for a _friend_?” 

Adam’s eyes widened. He thought he had seen her and Jax opening night of his play but he wasn’t sure. The stairs he had seen her by lead to the rafters and he knew she was afraid of heights. He had no idea she went through that much trouble just to watch the play.

Lucy turned her head away from Zoe and huffed.

“You mentioned running into him and Hannah way more than ever before and he got pissy when he found out you’re kinda dating someone. How the fuck am I the only one connecting these dots right now? Whatever happened between you is because you both obviously suck at communicating and you both refuse to acknowledge that you’re in love with each other. That being said, I don’t expect you to trek through the woods or wherever the hell he stomped off to and pull his dick ou-”

“ZOE!” Lucy yelled. 

Her cheeks burned as they reddened with embarrassment knowing the old woman definitely heard what Zoe had said. She wanted to glance at her to gauge her reaction but she was too embarrassed.

“You will get back in that car and the two of you will talk BEFORE you pick up Jessa, while you’re alone. If you don’t fuck on this trip I-”

“God damn it Zoe!” Lucy half whispered half yelled. This time Lucy built up the courage to glance up at the old woman. Thankfully she wasn’t staring at Lucy but she did notice the small smile on the old woman's face as she continued knitting.

“It will happen eventually. You said he was attractive but you didn’t mention he was hot AF and stacked. I swear to god you better climb that man like a fucking tree,” Zoe said as she put the cap back on her nail polish and set it back down on the nightstand. Lucy couldn’t be sure but she thought she heard the old woman chuckle.

“At least clear the air during your little trip please. I fucking hate it when you’re mopey. You miss him and it's painfully obvious he’s missed you too.”

Lucy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them Zoe was smiling at her.

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t. You love me. Maybe not as much as you love Adam bu-”

“This conversation is over love you but not today bye!” Lucy ended the call and shoved her phone in her back pocket. 

She gave Jax a quick scratch behind the ear before walking towards the ice scream shop. The old woman was no longer sitting outside on the porch but was behind the counter when she walked through the door. 

Lucy heard the door open behind her and knew it was Adam without turning around. Jax’s tail wagged twice at the sight of him. He approached her from behind but said nothing as he stood next to her with his hands in his pockets. He looked extremely out of place due to how tall and wide he was inside the little shop, towering over the counter and the little old lady behind it.

“What can I get you sweetie?” The old woman asked as she glanced between her and Adam, giving her a knowing look in the process. Lucy didn’t need a mirror to know her cheeks were slowly getting red.

“Um just a small vanilla cone and...Adam what do you want?”

He glanced from the old lady to Lucy a little surprised. He hadn’t expected her to start talking to him again, at least not so soon.

“Uh...the same,” Adam said without taking his eyes off of her. She nodded and turned back to the old woman. She took both cones, handed Adam one, a paid for them. They were about to walk out the door when the old woman called out to her.

“Here,” she said as she handed Lucy the black and grey beanie she had been knitting. 

Lucy looked at her with surprise before looking down at the soft beanie she now held in her hand. “Thank you but I can't accept this. That's really nice of you though,” Lucy said, a bit uncomfortable. A complete stranger had never tried to give her a gift before. She wasn’t sure what how to respond.

The woman put her hands up, refusing to take it back before leaning closer to Lucy. “For the climb,” the old woman winked and walked away.

Lucy’s face was so hot she was sure her face looked sunburned. 

“Thank you,” she squeaked out and hurriedly walked out the door with the beanie in one hand and her ice cream cone in another. She shoved half the beanie in her back pocket and silently walked towards the car next to Adam. 

She glanced at him when she brought her cone to her mouth. His throat bobbed slowly and he grimaced each time he licked the ice cream. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?,” she laughed.

“What?”

“You look like you’re in pain! You’re supposed to enjoy ice cream, it's not supposed to be painful,” she continued to laugh.

He huffed and looked at the offending cone in his hand before sighing and looking back down at her. “I fucking hate ice cream! It tastes like cold mucus. It’s disgusting,” he said passionately.

“Why the hell didn’t you say something? You didn’t have to take it!” she laughed even harder.

“Because it was the first time you actually said something to me without yelling!” She stopped laughing and stared at him curiously before grabbing the cone out of his hand. She veered to the left and tossed both his and hers into a trash can before continuing towards the car. 

“Okaaaaaay,” Adam said before following her. 

“Are we going to talk about this shit going on between us? About anything or are we going to sit in awkward as fuck silence for the rest of the drive?”

“What would you like to talk about Adam?”

“Don’t fucking do that! Don’t! You know what we need to talk about,” he growled as he stomped after her.

“Then talk!”

“Will you fucking stop walking away! Jesus! It’s hard to talk to you when you won’t fucking stay still and at least look at me,” he said as he grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her so she was facing him.

She stared up at him expectantly with her arms loosely at her sides.

“I have plenty of shit to say but I would appreciate it if you would go first. Tell me how I fucked up. Tell me what the fuck I did so I can either defend myself or...or....apologize or whatever,” he kept his hands on her shoulder and leaned down, nearly folding himself in half so they were eye to eye.

“Fine,” she glared at him and took a step back so he’d no longer be holding on to her shoulders.

“The first time we met I fucking hid you from the cops because your girlfriend decided to-” 

“Ex,” Adam interjected.

“What?” Lucy asked, confused. 

“We aren’t together anymore,” Adam said with a shrug before putting his hands in his pockets. 

“Since when?”

“Since last night.” He scanned her face with his eyes, hoping for a positive reaction.

“Ah. That explains why you came to my apartment.” Lucy laughed humorlessly while shaking her head. “I fucking knew it. I heard you guys arguing and I knew you'd come see me if she broke up with you.”

He stepped away from her as if she had slapped him, groaned, and covered his face with his hands. “Jesus fucking Christ! That’s what you think? Are you fucking-”

“No shut up. You wanted me to talk first so let me say what I need to say,” she said sternly while frowning at him. His nostrils flared and he bit the inside of his cheek with annoyance. 

“I let you into my apartment, into my little safe space for some crazy fucking reason. Maybe it’s because you’re extremely handsome. That’s what I thought at first but I’ve seen attractive strangers before and I’ve never let them into my home after one short conversation. I don’t know what it was about you but I knew I could trust you. So I let you in. You’re an asshole and a pervert and you have horrible social skills but that just drew me to you even more. You spent all your time with me without even asking me if I wanted you around. You were just kind of there all of a sudden. You have no boundaries and would just show up out of nowhere but none of that bothered me. Usually that shit would have driven me crazy and I would have kicked you out but no, not with you.”

She paused, broke eye contact with him, and took a deep breath. She wasn’t one to talk about her feelings but after what Zoe said, she knew she needed to get everything off of her chest. He started to open his mouth to speak but she put up her hand to stop him before he could.

“You started being more affectionate with me which I would be lying if I said I didn’t like, but it seemed to only happen whenever Hannah or her friends were around. Kinda like you wanted her to be jealous. But it was fine because we weren’t dating and you never really made a move so it was whatever. Once we started getting closer I considered whether or not I would want to even be in a relationship with you and honestly, I didn’t have an answer."

Lucy glanced back up at him. She had expected him to be pissed or annoyed but he was patiently staring at her with an intensity that made her uncomfortable. She looked away before continuing and wrapped her arms around herself as if she was holding herself together.

“I started to warm up to the idea that maybe you did actually like me and you weren't just using me to make Hannah jealous. Then I get you the audition and everything changed. I don’t fucking hear from you from then on. The only reason I knew you got the part was because I ran into you and Hannah who you were suddenly back together with. Again, we weren’t dating so if you want to get back together that’s your decision. As your friend I have no right to interfere but you fucking ghosted me. I got you the audition and I helped you rehearse and you didn’t even bother to tell me you got the part. Even though I was hurt and pissed off, I was so happy for you Adam. Even though I wasn’t invited to see you perform, I was so proud of you,” she said as her eyes welled up with tears. 

She hadn’t realized just how hurt she was by his actions until she was audibly voicing her feelings. He took a step closer to her to wipe away the tears that fell but she took a step back and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Jessa asked me if I’d want to be with you if you apologized but I couldn’t answer that question. Not when you can so easily toss me aside and act like I don’t fucking exist until you and Hannah fight. I’m not going to-”

“I LEFT HER FOR YOU!” He yelled with his fists clenched against his chest as he leaned into himself. 

“What?” Lucy asked in disbelief.

He straightened and ran his hands through his hair before grabbing a handful and pulling painfully hard with frustration.

“I fucking left her for you! Do you really have no fucking idea how I feel about you? Jesus Christ kid you’re the only thing I’ve thought about since the day we met. It had nothing to do with getting back at Hannah. You’re the only person I’ve ever met that fucking gets me and likes me for me. Not the idea of me and not so they can change me. You were fucking happy just being in my presence. Do you have any idea how fucking...how fucking nice that is? How fucking terrifying? I didn’t purposely pay more attention to you in public to get back at anyone. I liked having you with me. I fucking liked that when we were together people thought you were mine. Fuck, I think I wanted you to be mine the moment you told me how fucked up you are.”

Lucy wasn’t sure whether or not she should be insulted by that comment but she wasn’t. She looked down at her feet while he continued to rant. The intensity of his stare was too much.

“Then you got me that audition. No one has ever supported me or helped me with shit before. Not shit that mattered. I’ve been seeing Hannah on and off for way longer than I should have and she never even once showed interest in my acting career, but you did. When I was at Ray’s and that cunt was making a scene, Hannah said nothing, but you did. You didn’t have to because it wasn’t any of your business. I didn’t expect Hannah to step in because it was my shit to handle but if anyone was going to I would assume it would be her but no, it was you.”

Lucy felt her bottom lip quiver as she tried to hold back more tears. “You have a really fucked up way of showing me you care Adam.”

“You were going to fucking leave!” he yelled while pointing at her in frustration as he took a step forward. “I thought you gave a shit about me too! I didn’t want to rush into anything because I didn’t want you to think you were a rebound from Hannah which is exactly what you thought! I was waiting. The morning of the audition I went over like I said I would and I heard you talking to Zoe. She asked you if you were going to stay in New York and you said you didn’t think so because you had no reason to stay or because you didn’t feel welcome or some bullshit I can’t even remember anymore. You said there was nothing here for you and you had no intention of staying. So I left so I wouldn’t get my fucking heart broken.”

They stared at each other silently. Adam’s chest was heaving up and down while his nostrils flared. Lucy’s tears stopped falling as anger took over. She took a step closer to him, which he wasn’t prepared for and tensed momentarily before relaxing. 

“You asshole!” she yelled when her small fist connected with his chest.

“OW! Shit! What the hell!” he raised his arm to block another punch. “What the fuck is wrong with you!” he yelled as he dodged her small blows. She stopped trying to punch him in favor of open palm slapping him in the arm. 

“You’re being a fucking psycho right now!” Adam yelled at her and backed away.

“You’re the psycho! Don’t call me psycho! If you had waited two more fucking seconds instead of lurking and eavesdropping you would have heard the rest of our conversation you idiot!” she said as she stopped hitting him and angrily pointed at him instead.

“Why would that have made a difference? What else did you say?” he asked hesitantly as he lowered his arms.

“You don’t deserve to know! You lost that right when you overreacted and left without saying anything,” she scowled.

“UGH!” he threw his head back and groaned. “Jesus Christ just tell me! We’re getting this shit all out of the way.”

“I told Zoe I couldn’t stay here just for you when we aren’t and weren’t even dating. It would make no sense whatsoever to uproot what little life I have in Arizona for a friend. I'm not particularly fond of Arizona but Zoe is there and aside for Laird she's the closest thing I have to a family."

“So you would stay for me? if we were together I mean,” his voice softened substantially.

“I don’t have an answer to that question right now but it could have been a possibility when the time came. I don't get why you're acting like I have a flight booked for tomorrow. I don't even know when I'm leaving yet."

“What about now? If you were leaving tomorrow and I asked you to stay would you?”

“If what you’re saying is true, that you've had feelings for me for a while now, then why did you get back together with Hannah? Why did you fuck that bitch that was yelling at you at Ray's?”

Adam sighed and ran his hands over his face with frustration. He wanted a straight answer, he wanted to know how she felt, but she was deflecting. 

“I fucked her to get my mind off of you. I got back together with Hannah to get my mind off of you. I thought maybe I could force myself back into that routine so when you left it wouldn’t fucking destroy me but you were everywhere. If I didn’t see you in her building I’d see something that reminded me of you. I couldn’t look at a fucking coffee cup without thinking of you. Fuck, every day I go to rehearsal I think of you. I see you in everything. Hannah was Hannah and nothing changed. Even if you weren’t around there was no way I could be with her again. I realized that I don’t care if you ruin my life and leave, because at least you’ll have been in my life.”

Adam watched as Lucy’s lip quivered and her eyes began to fill with tears again. She huffed and turned away from him so he wouldn’t see her cry again. He had never seen her cry before and he realized immediately that he hated it. 

“If I asked you to stay would you? If I asked you to stay for me?”

“I’m not leaving yet Adam! I don’t know why you’re so fucking hung up on that right now,” she said over her shoulder.

“Answer my question. If you were to leave tomorrow and I asked you to stay for me, would you?” He closed the distance between them and stepped in front of her. When she didn’t look up at him he placed a finger under her chin and tilted her face towards him.

“Honestly? Right now? No...yes...I don’t know! Ask me next-"

Adam didn’t let her finish. He leaned down, grabbed her face with both hands and kissed her. It took her a moment to grasp what was happening but once she did she grabbed a handful of his shirt with one hand and ran her other hand through his hair.

Lucy thought when they first kissed, if they first kissed, it would be hesitant at first but this was anything but. It was obvious everything Adam had said was true based on how intensely he was kissing her. It was almost obscene. One hand stayed on her face while the other slid from her face down to the small of her back. His lips were unfairly soft and his bottom lip was practically begging to be bitten. He licked across her bottom lip in a silent plea for access to her mouth. When she parted her lips for him he immediately dove in. The hand on the small of her back slid to her side and squeezed as he let out a quiet groan.

When Lucy’s brain caught up to her and she remembered where they were and the reason they were there, she sucked his bottom lip between her teeth and bit down before trying to pull away from him. He chased her lips with his and continued to kiss her within an inch of her life. She started laughing which made him smile into their kiss. She took the opportunity to pull away from him again and gave him a small shove with the hand that was gripping his shirt.

“No more!” she said with a smile while pointing a finger at him.

“Whaaaa why?” he said with a pout, jutting out his bottom lip and leaning down towards her again.

“Because you broke up with your girlfriend twelve hours ago and like I said I’m not a rebound.”

“What the fuck?! Did you not hear anything I just said?”

“I heard you. Doesn’t mean I’m just going to welcome you back into my life with open arms and let you in my pants. If you want to be back in my good graces you’re going to work for it. After all, it’s your fault we've been apart for the last month,” she took a step closer to him. He lowered his head and leaned into her, expecting another kiss. She hovered her mouth close to his but at the last minute she moved and kissed his cheek.

“Let’s go.”

Before he could say anything, she turned her back to him and trotted back to the car, leaving a very annoyed and turned on Adam behind her.


	6. Road Trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I've mentioned it but I don't have a Beta so if you notice mistakes, even though I re-read each chapter a handful of times before posting it, that's why.
> 
> Also. Ton of notes at the end of this chapter.

The somewhat ‘heart to heart’ Adam and Lucy had while screaming at each other in the random ice cream parlor’s parking lot changed the atmosphere of their car ride. Adam was all smiles and constantly trying to hold her hand. It was as if he was afraid she might change how she felt about him and throw herself out of the car if he wasn't touching her. Trying to text Zoe with one hand wasn't working so she shook his hand off of hers and placed it on her thigh.

She glanced at him to see if he would take that as an invitation to grope her, but he didn't. The Adam she knew would have already made a comment or moved his hand up at least a little. Especially after they acknowledged their feelings for each other but he was on his best behavior. It was hard not to notice how he fidgeted slightly in the driver seat, how his hand gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, and how his throat bobbed as he tried to focus on the road. She was looking forward to seeing how he would behave after she told him he would have to work to get on her good side and to see how long his good behavior would last.

* * *

Zoe: “So what happened? I have to work soon but I honestly won’t be able to concentrate until I know how things are with you and Adam. You’re not still fighting are you?”

Lucy: “You’re relentless. We talked about things.”

Zoe: “And...”

Lucy: “And? We are friends again.”

Zoe: Did he admit he’s in love with you? Did he tell you he wants to marry you and have gorgeous babies with wavy, black, soft looking hair?”

Lucy: “You need to stop watching the Hallmark channel. He said he broke up with Hannah for me...among other things. It’s too much to text and even though I despise talking on the phone, I would much rather tell you everything over the phone. DO NOT CALL ME RIGHT NOW! We can talk about it when Adam isn’t sitting right next to me.”

Zoe: “He broke up with Hannah for you because he fucking loves you bitch. Omg he will look so fucking hot in a tux. How are winters in New York? We should have the wedding there I think.”

Lucy: “God you’re the worst. I’ll text you once I’m alone and we can talk but until then STFU!”

Zoe: “Okay okay fine. Tell Adam I love him. Give him my number. I’m serious and not just saying that to fuck with you. I promise I won’t ask him for a dick pic. Give it to him in case there’s an emergency or something. Promise me.”

Lucy: “Fine.”

Zoe: “Love you.”

Lucy: “Love you too.”

* * *

Lucy giggled then tossed her phone back into her bag at her feet. Adam looked over at her questionably.

“What?”

“Zoe. She wanted me to tell you she loves you and would like me to add her number to your phone in case there’s an emergency and either one of you need to contact the other,” she sighed.

“That’s a good idea,” he said as he slightly lifted his hips, fished his phone out of his back pocket, and tossed it to her. 

Having not expected such a nonchalant reaction, she almost dropped his phone. She wasn't sure whether or not they were "official" after their talk, but she knew how some couples were when it came to letting their partner go through their phone. 

“I don’t have any good cock shots in there so if you want to send her one you’ll have to do it for me,” he smiled at her.

“You’re okay with me going through your phone?” she asked suspiciously.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I dunno. It’s a ‘thing’ a lot of coup-" she stopped mid sentence, not wanting to put a label on anything yet, "some friends fight about. It's a privacy thing, not wanting others to go through their phones.”

“There’s nothing you don’t know. Nothing I want to keep from you. I don’t give a fuck if you go through it.”

Lucy nodded and gave him a small smile before looking down at his phone. The outside case of the flip phone was cracked in multiple places. She was actually grateful he hadn't let her talk him into an iPhone and instead chose the phone made for the elderly. When she flipped it open she wasn’t surprised to see the glass fractured and cracked. She could barely make out what was on the screen. 

“I thought I heard something shatter when you were throwing your tantrum in the woods. Good to know my suspicions were correct. I’m honestly surprised it didn’t completely fall apart. These old man flip phones are resilient,” she said and held the phone in his direction so he could see the damage.

“We get to go phone shopping,” she smirked knowing how out of date he was with technology. He groaned and threw his head back against the seat dramatically.

She chuckled and brought the phone back towards her. To her shock, the wallpaper was a picture of her and Jax from the side. She was sitting on the steps in front of the apartment building smiling down at her phone, most likely Facetiming with Lucy. Jax was laying on his front paws right next to her.

“Um...when did you take this?”

“The first time I saw you outside of the apartment during the day,” he said unashamedly.

“You’re a mess Sackler,” she chuckled.

She opened his contacts and added Zoe’s number into his phone before texting her.

“Hey this is Adam.”

Before Lucy closed the phone, Zoe texted back.

“Yo! Did you pound that pussy yet?”

“I immediately regret this decision,” Lucy sighed and handed Adam back his phone.

* * *

A little after sundown they decided to call it a night and find a place to stay. Adam was fully content staying the night at some place that practically screamed “Free used heroin needle in every room.” Lucy found a place that got four star reviews and free breakfast which was where they decided to stay. Since they had met, neither one of them discussed money or how they afforded their own individual expenses. Adam was more forthcoming about it. He didn’t get along with his parents but he did speak to his grandma. Aside from whatever he earned from acting jobs and his woodworking, his grandma sent him $800 a month. 

He had yet to ask her how she was able to pay for Laird’s stay at the treatment center, his rent, or how she was able to afford things like the room they were about to stay in. 

“Holy shittttttt this place is nice,” Adam said as he grabbed her bag out of the car. 

“It’s a lot nicer than what I had expected for what they're charging. It’s probably because there’s not much out here in the middle of nowhere.”

Adam unlocked the door and held it open for her. Once she was in the room he locked it behind him and set her bag down. He immediately yanked off his shoes and began to jump on the bed.

“There’s only one bed,” he said while chuckling..

“Yep,” she said while hiding her smile and walking towards the bathroom to turn the light on.

“Do you have rules again? Last time I stayed with you I thought I heard you say something about rules but I was almost passed the fuck out.”

“Yes I have one rule. You're not allowed to touch me while we're in this room and we won’t be sleeping together. There’s a roll out bed in the closet,” she kept her back to him and covered her mouth with her hand when she heard the jumping stop.

“Fuccccccccck!” he threw himself back onto the bed, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling.

“I’m gonna take a shower. If you’re hungry you can order room service. The menu is next to the bed. You may want to get your bed ready before I get out.”

He grumbled to himself. She wasn’t sure exactly what he said but she caught random words like cock, fucker, and blue balls.

Adam's eyes met hers the moment she walked out of the bathroom. She was wearing an oversized shirt that stopped right under her ass with only panties underneath. Her damp hair was pulled up into a messy bun on the top of her head. He knew she was purposely torturing him and would continue to do so as a test to see exactly how serious he was about making things right between them. He wanted nothing more then to throw her on the bed and fuck her through the mattress but that would get him no where at the moment. He knew she wanted him and was torturing him as payback which made it even worse.

“I wasn’t sure if you were hungry or not so I ordered you something anyways,” he said without breaking eye contact. Lucy was trying not to laugh at him when she walked out of the bathroom. He was sitting indian style on a bed that was so small even she wouldn’t fit on it. The thought of him trying to squeeze onto the tiny mattress was hilarious. When she was sure he wasn’t looking she grabbed her phone and took a picture of him shirtless, in his boxer briefs, on the roll out bed that was the size of a pillowcase.

When Adam noticed Lucy walking towards him he uncrossed his legs and planted them on the ground in front of him. He was tall but the small bed was low to the ground, giving her a height advantage for once. He knees parted slightly to make room for her to stand in between them. While standing directly in front of him she was able to look down at him. He lifted his head to look at her, dragging his eyes from her feet all the way up to her own, and swallowing thickly as their eyes met. His hands were resting on the bed gripping the sheets in an effort to stop himself from reaching out and grabbing her small body and throwing her onto the bed. Leaning down slowly, she pressed her lips to his forehead, and whispered, “thanks for the food.”

When she pulled away he huffed but said nothing. Sitting in the bed, Lucy texted Zoe the picture she took of him. While waiting for Lucy to text back she ate the small bowl of fruit Adam had ordered for her. As expected, Lucy texted back quickly.

* * *

Zoe: “OMFG he’s fucking thick. If you don’t fuck him I will fly out to New York and do it for you. 

Zoe: “Wait.”

Zoe: “What is he sitting on? Did you find a room for the night? OMG Are you making him sleep on that tiny bed???"

Lucy: “Of course I am. I’m not gonna fuck him just because he apologized. I’m gonna make him work for it.”

Zoe: “You’re a fucking monster and I fucking love you. Goodnight. Please at least touch it a little for me. Just the tip ✊🏻💦"

Lucy: “Goodnight.”

Zoe: “Send me more pics when you can!”

* * *

Lucy locked her phone and plugged it in to charge before climbing out of bed, tossing her trash, and brushing her teeth. Adam followed her into the bathroom and did the same, all the while making eye contact with her through the mirror. It was the first time she could say there was sexual tension while brushing her teeth. She finished quickly, walked back to bed, turned off the lights, and crawled under the covers. For at least fifteen minutes, she watched as Adam did his best to make the tiny bed as comfortable as possible, grumbling to himself the entire time. She was biting her lip in an attempt not to laugh. When he was about to curl into a ball in an attempt to fit on the bed, she caved.

“Come here Adam,” she said as she rolled to one side of the bed with her back to the empty spot Adam would be occupying soon.

“What?”

“I said come here. You don’t have to sleep down there but I applaud you for attempting to without bitching.”

“Fuck. You’re the most infuriating person I have ever met in my fucking life,” he grumbled as he crawled under the covers next to her. 

The room was quiet for a bit. Lucy hadn’t fallen asleep yet but she thought Adam had. When he let out a frustrated “UGH” she jumped halfway off the bed.

“Shit Adam! What the hell?” she said as she rolled on to her back so she could see him.

“I can’t sleep well if I don’t cum,” he said as if it was obvious.

“I was going to say ‘um what’ but I know what you just said and it honestly doesn’t surprise me. I have no idea why you’re telling me this.” She had a feeling he was lying considering the one and only time they shared a bed he passed out the moment his head hit the pillow. 

“Because I can’t sleep.” 

“Then do something about it. I said you couldn't touch me but I didn’t say you couldn’t touch yourself,” Lucy tried to contain her smile. She knew how that response would affect him.

He was silent for a couple of seconds before speaking. “What?”

“You heard me. You act like I’m some sort of nun that’s opposed to sex just because I haven’t asked for you to put your dick in my mouth. If circumstances were different we probably would have fucked by now.”

She heard Adam suck in a breath. She wasn’t sure if he realized it or not but she definitely heard it and was trying not to laugh. It was as if her words unlocked the pervert door he had desperately tried to keep shut whenever he was around her. Every now and then something would slide through a crack in the door but for the most part he kept it barricaded pretty well. Now the door was unlocked and slowly starting to inch open. 

She felt him lower the blanket that had been over his waist followed by the sound of him quickly stripping. 

Lucy was glad the room was dimly lit and that Adam's attention was on taking his dick in his hand, otherwise he would have seen her eyes visibly widen once they landed on his already erect cock. She had only slept with a couple of guys so she didn’t have much to compare it to but even if she did, she knew what Adam was packing was above normal. It had been an extremely long time since she slept with anyone and knew it would be a bit of a stretch once he was finally inside her. Part of her was second guessing her plan to tease him because she was starting to tease herself. 

“Give me your hand,” she demanded.

“What?” he asked as he turned his head to look at her while he started to stoke himself. 

“Give me your fucking hand and don’t make me tell you again.”

His hand flew to her instantaneously. Had there not been a small amount of light in the hotel room he probably would have smacked her straight in the face. Lucy knew what she was doing to him and she wanted to see how far she could push him. Taking his hand in hers, she slowly sucked his pointer finger into her mouth, all the way to the knuckle. After a large intake of air he let out a quiet, “oh fucking shit.” She released his finger, licked the palm of his hand, and placed it back on his cock.

Instead of lying back down like he thought she would, she sat up and scooted close to him until she was kneeling against his side. Making a last minute decision, she lifted her shirt over her head and set it on the bed next to them, leaving her only in a small pair of panties. She knew he could just barely see her which was perfect. He started to stroke himself harder as his eyes glanced from her chest to her eyes.

"Fuck I knew your tits were perfect. I fucking knew it," he grunted with each jerk of his cock.

Lucy leaned over him until her chest was an inch away from his and leaned in closer to him. Before pressing her lips to his, she ran her hand through his hair, grabbed a handful, and jerked his head towards her to close the distance between their mouths. Adam immediately brought his free hand to the side of her head. His fingers spanned the side of her face, and his thumb traced along her jawline. His other hand was busy aggressively gripping his cock and sliding it back and forth.

His hips jerked up into his hand when she licked his bottom lip, sucked it into her mouth, and pulled on it with her teeth.

“Do you like it when I watch you stroke your cock?” she asked seductively.

His breathing picked up again and his hand moved even faster. “Yes. Fuck yes. So much,” he groaned

“Do you want me to watch you cum?” She moved away from his lips and kissed along his jaw.

“Yes, I want you to watch me stroke my cock and imagine what it's going to feel like inside that tight little pussy of yours,” he said in between grunts.

“Hmm,” she hummed as she kissed behind his ear. “It’s so big I don’t know if it will fit. You'll have to make sure I'm nice and wet.” 

“Fuck,” Adam nearly shouted.

“Are you going to cum? I want you to cum and think about how good my lips will feel around your cock,” she said quietly into his ear before grabbing a handful of his hair again. She tilted his head to the side to give her better access to his neck, and bit down. 

“Fuccccck,” he groaned as his stomach muscles tensed. He came on his stomach and parts of his chest. With two lazy strokes, the last of his cum oozed onto his hand as it stopped moving. Lucy sat back on to her thighs and stared down at him while smirking. It was an impressive amount of cum and he looked completely wrecked. She hadn’t even touched him yet.

“Holy shit,” he said in between breaths.

He stayed on his back panting while staring at the ceiling, trying to catch his breath. Lucy put her shirt back on, climbed off of the bed, and walked back to the bathroom. Once there she grabbed the damp towel she had used in the shower and walked over to Adam. She leaned over him on the bed and gently wiped off his chest before grabbing his hand and cleaning it as well. The entire time his eyes never left her as he silently watched her take care of him. 

Adam acknowledged how strong his feelings were for Lucy, to himself at least. But watching her clean him without asking, watching her take care of him, it was intensifying his feelings for her. No one ever took care of him, he never needed anyone to and when he did, no one was there. 

Once satisfied he was clean enough, she tossed the towel onto the floor and climbed back into bed. Even though most would consider the silence between them awkward, it was comfortable, at least it was for her. Before she had time to get comfortable, two large arms wrapped around her and pulled her backwards into his chest. He slid is right arm under her neck and pillow and draped his left arm over her waist to hold her close.

“Goodnight kid,” he said close to her ear as he nuzzled into her hair.

“Goodnight Adam.

* * *

When Lucy started to wake up, there was still a heavy arm draped across her waist but she was still too groggy to remember who the arm belonged to. 

Reflexively, she tensed and her eyes snapped open. Just as her pulse started to race Adam nuzzled into her neck. “It’s just me kid,” he said groggily, throat scratchy and thick with sleep. She relaxed into his arms and released the breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, embarrassed. Her reaction to waking up with someone in her bed had been a huge issue with one of her previous boyfriends. She was somewhat self conscious about it but it wasn’t something she could control and she had never been in a relationship long enough to find out whether or not it would stop over time. “I’m sure you guessed but when I was younger...a few times I’d fall asleep alone and wake up next to someone that shouldn’t be next to me,” she practically whispered.

Adam pulled her even closer to his chest. “Don’t apologize for shit you have no control over and you don’t have to explain shit to me,” he mumbled against her hair.

“I’ve only dated a couple of people and not for very long. It was an issue with one of them, a big issue.” She placed her hand on his arm and rubbed small circles onto it with her thumb.

“That’s bullshit and those fuckers didn’t deserve you,” he said before moving her hair away from her neck to place small kisses on it.

She knew if she didn’t stop him they wouldn’t get out of bed and would repeat and extend last nights events. She turned her head enough to place a kiss on his forehead before she slid out of bed. Adam tried to grab her around the waist to bring her back to bed but she managed to dodge his arm. He groaned then turned onto his side once Lucy entered the bathroom.

After breakfast they hopped back into the car and drove for an hour before getting to the facility Jessa was currently at. Lucy was happy Adam was in a good mood prior to arriving because she knew he wouldn’t be once they picked her up. They didn’t necessarily like one another but they weren’t exactly friends either. Adam had made it quite clear how opposed to checking her out of the facility he was.

“For the record. Taking someone out of rehab is an awful fucking idea.”

“She said she needed help. The people were treating her like shit."

“Wow, an addict lying? Impossible.”

Lucy chuckled. It wasn’t like they weren’t going to pick her up at this point, they were almost there. All he could do was grumble about it as they reached their destination.

"Do you know what her issues is? Why she checked herself in?"

“I have no idea. You would know more than I would, you've technically known her longer than I have." 

“Why the fuck did we spend eight hours in the car to pick someone up you haven’t even known that long?”

“Don’t be an asshole. She had no one else to call. We’re not best friends or anything but if I have the ability to help I don’t see why I shouldn’t. I’d do it for you and Ray too.”

“This is a really stupid fucking idea. Yet here I am,” he grumbled as he ran his hand through his hair, glancing at Lucy every so often.

“She wants to leave Adam.”

“We don’t always get what we want...but if you try...you can sometimes find that you..” Adam trailed off.

Lucy leaned up and kissed him on the cheek before settling back into the passenger seat. They pulled up to the facility minutes later. It didn’t look like a rehab facility, more like a large rustic style farm house in the middle of nowhere on a large plot of land. Without the sign in the front yard and various staff members wandering around, she would have never guessed it was a rehab center.

Lucy got out of the car and began to walk toward the entrance. Adam didn’t let her get very far before taking her hand in his. She glanced over at him and as expected, he didn’t look very happy. 

When they entered the building there was an older woman sitting behind the receptionist desk, filling out a crossword puzzle. Adam took a seat in a small seating area next to the front door, crossing his arms and glancing around the room.

“Hi, I’m here for Jessa Johansson.”

“You can take a seat next to the handsome gentlemen you came here with while I get her.”

“Oh...Okay thank you,” Lucy said to the woman. When she sat down next to Adam he turned his head to her. 

“What? What did she say?”

“She said Jessa would be out in a minute...after making a comment about how handsome you are.”

Adam glanced over at the old woman who was eyeballing him.

“Is it possible to go somewhere without someone eyeballing you or flat out telling you how good looking you are? It’s ridiculous.”

“Are you jealous? Jealous that old woman wants my cock,” he asked as he leaned in closer to Lucy’s ear. 

“What if I want to watch that old woman take your cock,” she said. When she overly enunciated the ‘ck’ she watched Adam swallow thickly.

“I’m really glad you’re not mad at me anymore,” he said with a smile as he leaned in to kiss her.

“About goddamn time!” Jessa yelled as she entered the room and spotted Adam leaning in to kiss Lucy.

Adam sighed and sat up straight.

Lucy stood up and approached Jessa and the older woman that was standing next to her.

“Are you Jessa’s sister?” the woman asked Lucy. 

“Uh yes. I am Jessa’s sister Lucy,” she said as her eyes met Jessa's questionably.

“Your sister has been asked to leave the facility due to fraternizing with the other patients as well as for distributing sexual literature.”

Lucy looked from Jessa to the older woman. She opened her mouth to ask what type of sexual literature but she wasn’t sure she wanted to know and the woman didn’t look like the type that would be eager to elaborate.

“We personally think she would benefit more if we kept her here with us a little longer. It takes a couple of months for any type of treatment to be effective and Jessa has only been here for a week.”

Lucy tried not to glance over at Adam, not wanting to know if he heard what the woman said. She didn’t want to hear him say “I told you so.”

“Thank you for the advice. We can check her into a facility closer to home. If you can get me whatever papers I need to sign to check her out-”

“There are no papers. We have an open door policy.”

“Um...I’m sorry what?”

“We offered to take her to the airport but-”

“There’s a fucking airport? What the fuck Jessa!” The woman next to Jessa narrowed her eyes at Lucy’s choice of words.

Lucy heard Adam’s chair scrape across the floor as he stood and stormed out of the building. She had no desire to make a scene in front of a bunch of strangers so without another word, she turned her back on them and walked out of the building. 

Once outside she started walking towards the car without looking to see if Jessa was following her. Adam was walking around the car with Jax, almost pacing. 

“Lucy wait!” Jessa followed close behind her.

“You’re a bitch you know that? We drove for a straight day to come get you because you said you needed a way home and didn’t feel comfortable asking your ‘friends’ to pick you. An entire day in the car and a night in a hotel to come get you-”

“You stayed in a hotel room with Adam,” she raised an eyebrow suggestively.

“I’m not in the mood Jessa. This was a really really big dick move and the fact that you don’t see that makes this shit even worse. We don’t even know each other that well. We’ve known each other like 2 months, you called and I came like a dumbass. Adam even said this was a stupid idea but I didn’t listen. No. Like a dumbass here I am! Why did you call me Jessa? Because I’m an idiot and have no friends? Last you heard I wasn’t even talking to Adam. Is that why you called me? Because you thought I’d be alone and desperate for a friend? Why didn’t you call your ‘real’ friends?”

“You are one of my real friends. I wouldn’t have called you otherwise. I wasn’t lying when I said I called you because you wouldn’t judge me like they would. That wasn’t bullshit. I meant it. You’re my friend and I knew you’d help me.”

“You might consider me your friend but the shitty thing is that if the tables were turned, you wouldn’t be here to pick me up. Actually, neither would he!” Lucy yelled and waved in Adam’s direction.

“No no no don’t fucking bring me into this shit! I told you this was a mistake! We’re fucking good right now. You’re actually fucking talking to me. Don’t let her ruin our shit. I didn’t do shit here!” He crouched down slightly towards Lucy so he wouldn’t be yelling at her and towering over her in an intimidating manner. He maintained eye contact with her while extending his arm and pointing an angry finger towards Jessa.

Lucy walked around him, got into the passenger seat, and slammed the door behind her. 

“Get in the fucking car!” She yelled at the two of them.

Adam walked up to the passenger side door and leaned into the window

“Really? This is how shit’s going to be?”

“Get in the fucking car Adam.

He growled and kicked the front tire as he walked around the front of the car.

“This is your fucking fault!” He yelled at Jessa before climbing into the driver seat.

* * *

The drive back was more tense than the ride there had been before Lucy and Adam cleared the air. For the most part the three of them said nothing. Every now and then Jessa would try to make conversation but either stopped when she was ignored or stopped when either Lucy or Adam snapped at her. 

At some point during the drive Lucy fell asleep which gave Jessa the opportunity to talk to Adam one on one. Lucy was never really forthcoming when it came to details about her and Adam’s weird relationship. Adam however, had no qualms with saying exactly what he thought and wanted, as long as he wasn’t still pissed off at her. 

Adam noticed Jessa lean closer to them. She placed one hand on the driver's seat and one hand on the passenger seat before leaning between them.

“She’s been sleeping a while. Is that normal? Does she always sleep this much?” Jessa asked with a furrowed brow while staring at Lucy.

“The pills she’s on make her sleepy.”

“Hmm. What are the pills for?”

“Shit that doesn’t concern you.”

“Jesus. I’m just trying to make small talk. This ride is boring,” Jessa whined. 

“Boredom is bullshit. Boredom is for lazy people that have no imagination,” Adam said with irritation.

“Whatever Adam. Look, I’m not trying to argue with you but I would like to know a few things and since we still have a few hours..."

“Don’t fucking ask me about her personal shit. If she wanted you to know about her past or her health she would have told you by now. If she hasn’t said shit to you about it then she doesn’t want you to know.”

“So you know what’s wrong with her? The reason for the meds and the dog? She’s told you.”

“Nothing is _wrong_ with her. The shit with her health? Yes I know about it.”

Jessa stared at him curiously. “You’re totally in love with her. I fuckin’ knew it,” Jessa giggled.

She could see the muscle in Adam’s jaw tense.

“She’s in love with you too ya know? I don’t get why you’re being so touchy about it. All the shit between you and Hannah. You guys are over for good then yeah?”

“Yes. Hannah and I are fucking done. I’m tired of her shit. I should have ended it a long time ago.”

“The recent break up has nothing to do with sleeping beauty here?”

“She’s part of the reason, yes. Since when the fuck do you give a shit what happens between me and Hannah or me and her,” he gestured towards Lucy with his chin. "I don’t get your angle here. Why are you acting like her friend? So she could do shit like this and bail you out when no one else will? You’re not really her friend. I see through your bullshit.”

“Fuck you Adam. You don’t know shit!” Jessa began to raise her voice. 

“Shut the fuck up. You’re going to wake her up!” he whispered harshly.

“You don’t know anything,” Jessa whispered back.

“Then explain it to me.”

Jessa sat back in her seat and glanced out the window.Truthfully, she had no alternative motives for being friends with Lucy. She liked her and her laid back attitude. She wasn’t as self centered or judgmental as the rest of her friends and she was reliable. If she had called Hannah, Sosh, or Marnie to come get her they would have either lectured her or made an excuse. Lucy dropped everything and came for her. It was nice to have a friend she could rely on. 

“I’m not trying to use her or some shit. I’m an asshole but not that big of an asshole. You know how Hannah and Marnie and Sosh are. The world revolves around them and the only time they’ll help someone else out is if it benefits them in some way. They probably wouldn’t have even come for me and if they had they would have made me feel like shit or come whenever they felt like it.”

“You deserve to feel like shit. What you did was really fucking shitty. You had another way back and you lied about it. She rented a fucking car, dropped everything, and drove for a straight day just because you asked her to.”

“I didn’t lie to her. I just...didn’t tell her everything.”

“Really Jessa? Don’t give me that bullshit. You know what you did was fucked up.”

“Oh you’re one to talk, Adam. You ghosted her then got back with Hannah. Not only that but you basically rubbed it in her face. So don’t act like you’re such a fucking saint.”

“Fuck you.”

“No fuck you!”

Lucy started to stir in the passenger seat. Jessa and Adam exchanged a look in the review mirror and seethed in silence for the remainder of the drive. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay a few things.
> 
> I'm sure you've noticed a lack of smut... in a fic about Sackler... which is probably unexpected. I did that for a few reasons. 
> 
> 1\. My Adam is a mix between season 2-3 Adam starting out and by then, yes, he was still a sexual deviant but it wasn't as intense since he had grown up a bit. 
> 
> 2\. I want it to be obvious things with Lucy aren't the same as his past relationships.
> 
> 3\. Every single Sackler fic I've read he's either grossly OOC or it's pure smut and sometimes I'd like a story.
> 
> IDK if you guys consider it being OOC for him to be turned on by Lucy taking charge but my head canon is that it's secretly something he would enjoy. Like in the first season when he asked Hannah to step on his balls, he finished once she yelled at him. From then on I've always thought he would like to be told what to do every now and then but not always.

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to my playlist (at least Just Like You & High)
> 
> They set the mood.


End file.
